Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Rain Rain Go Away

Remember that child’s rhyme, “Rain, rain go away come again another day”. Well here in Vermont it has gotten to be much more then a child’s rhyme, it has become an anthem. We are working on 21 days of rain in the last 23 days. There doesn’t look to be an end in sight either. Right now we are riding out yet another thunderstorm. The interesting thing about all this rain is that it is still not our wettest June on record.

The average rain fall in Vermont in June is 3.75 inches. So far without today’s totals we have gotten about 4.77 inches [in Burlington]. Compared that to 1922 when we got 9.92 inches in the month. Heck the most rain fall for a single day was 4.45 inches back on June 14th 1942. Still though I am so through with all this rain, it makes it hard to get the laundry dry.

My poor Gr hasn’t been happy in days, as he is afraid of thunderstorms. The funny thing is that Map isn’t afraid of thunderstorms, and she can’t figure out what is wrong with Gr. I was rather hoping that having her here playing and bugging him might help him forget about his fear. No luck so far.

Saturday, June 6, 2009

Getting Caught Back Up

1 June 2009 - Monday
I spent about an hour this afternoon lying on my belly on a dock. My head hanging over the side at a comfortable angel. I peered through clear to the shallow bottom of the pond. It was there that I found myself transfixed by watching the fry flitting this way and that, the whole group turning on a dime. I don’t know what kind of fish they are, my oldest son could tell me, he is college to learn such things.

These tiny fish, just hatched within the last few days, already have their own little world with rules, and I think a ruler. I watched them long enough to see that three fish in this group were larger than the rest, and the other fish seemed to do what ever and go where ever these three fish went. They bumped and fed there way back and forth under the dock, scattering when my dog splashed through, but re-congregating within minutes.

These tiny baby fish would flash silver when the sun light caught them just right. They were however, on close expectation clear; I could see right through their tiny bodies and see the bone and insides clearly. I could help be wonder as I watched these wonderful creatures, and couldn’t help but wonder how many would live to be full sized fish. Would the three leaders someday be caught and weighed and measured as some trophies.

2 June 2009 - Tuesday
Gr and I drove over to Sugar Hill in NH today so that I could take picture of the Lupine. That whole fields of that lovely flower, and arrange a festival around them every year. The festival isn’t until this coming weekend, but I thought I could get in some shots early. No such luck. The flowers are dismal this year. If it hadn’t been for the young moose we saw by the road the trip would have been a waste. The moose seemed to know that he was about to be photographed and paid no attention to Gr who was barking loudly. So I got a couple of nice shots, before we traveled on.

We found a new favorite ice cream place up here. Out on Route 302 just north of Woodsville is a little yellow building with wonderful home made ice-cream. It will long be Gr’s favorite as they give good doggy’s free scoops of vanilla. You could your whole lunch there for $4.50 [a hotdog, soda, and small ice-cream cone].

Returning to camp found leaning out over the boat rescuing a swallowtail butterfly from the pond. After giving it time to dry it wings and rest, this creature rewarded me offering up some lovely shots of it on the lilac tree in the yard. I than retreated to the porch swing and read the afternoon away, just as you are supposed to do when at camp.

Friday 5 June 2009
The big worry in my life these last couple of days has been my truck. I don’t know how you feel but my world revolves around my truck. For some reason all of the dummy lights keep coming on from time to time. It doesn’t seem to effect how the truck runs, but it freaks me out. I got up early this morning and took the truck over to Carmody’s for a scheduled service and to see if they could figure out what is going on. I’m still in the dark. The service tech put my truck on their computer, but nothing showed up. So I am still driving it around with my fingers crossed. I just hope that if anything major goes wrong, it won’t happen in a place that causes any trouble.

Saturday, May 2, 2009

Where Were These Buyers Hiding

It was along day spent in the office. Big called me this morning at six and wanted to know how soon I could be up there. That took care of any dreamy idea I was having about sleeping in. I think I got everything done for the week, or at least everything Big had thought of up that point. I know he'll have me back in there a few more times this week. While I was up at the shop today, we sold about $4,000 worth of stone, and I sold Big's trailer after he went home. So all in all it was a very good day.

Little still isn't home and I don't have much hope that he'll be here any time soon. Today was his softball tournament down in Pownal. I'm guessing that he is enjoying a little part with other drinkers. At least I don't have to worry about him driving. I just think it's to bad that he couldn't take Whit to her prom tonight.

So we sold the house yesterday, and today I have gotten two phone calls from people desperate to offer me more money. Where were these people before. I suppose we could still take other offers since no money has changed hands yet, but doesn't seem very honest to me.

I took advantage of having a empty house tonight to finish reading. And I made dinner of a bowl of popcorn and half a pint of Ben and Jerry's. This is my idea of a vacation.

Friday, May 1, 2009

I Think Its Finally Gone

I had planned to be up to Lake Camp tonight, but things very rarely go as planed. I had way more paper work to get done in the office than I had planned, and than there was personal paper work also. So anyhow I'm home alone tonight, while Big is over Hunting Camp with guys for turkey hunting, and Little is with his girlfriend in Manchester.

It would appear that we have finally sold the house in Manchester. We aren't getting as much money for it as Big had hoped, I'm just glad that it will be gone, and I will have one less payment every month.

Monday, April 27, 2009

Whoot Whoot

It was a nice bright sunny day. This heat though is a killer. It really shouldn’t be in the eighties this time of year. I’ll be glad when it breaks.

I needed to be in Manchester this afternoon to make a deposit for the business, so I caught lunch at Zoey’s Double Hex. I haven’t been up there in months. It was good to be out of the office for a couple of hours. I wouldn’t mind the paper work nearly as much if we had the money coming in to pay the bills. I was late getting to the Post Office tonight, didn’t know they closed at 4:30. Hopefully my dropping a couple of books into the mail slot won’t be a problem.

Since I didn’t get out of the office until after five, we did dinner out of Paulin’s. I had a really good salad. We had an owl out in the yard tonight making a lot of noise, and getting Gr worked up. Little came down and called to it, and got the owl to call back to him. Kind of cool.

Saturday, April 25, 2009

Clean The Kitchen

I slept in this morning, and it felt great. There is nothing like your own bed, especially when you’ve been traveling a lot. I cleaned the kitchen. It really needed it. It’s still not cleaned like it should be, I need to get some glass wax to polish the counter top, and I should really go through all my cupboards. At least when I got home with the groceries today, I had some place to put them. Believe it or not I took two big trash bags out to the dumpster just form the kitchen.

I found out that frogs make a funny hissing noise when being bothered. Gr found one in a cooler top by the corner of the house this afternoon, and was cuffing it, when the frog started to hiss at him. It’s a really strange kind of loud noise. The hissing noise however, didn’t seem to faze Gr any.

Big came home early tonight and we had a nice steak dinner. Since Little is out for the weekend with his new girlfriend Wh, I splurged on a pricey cut of prime rib. It was wonderful. Now if the stupid baseball game would just get over, so we can watch something on TV. I hate professional baseball only slightly less than basketball. Yuck.

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Ready To Go Home

Beautiful morning, but I’ve got a headache. That makes me sad when I’m in my favorite place in the whole world. Having said that I can’t believe how ready I am to be going home after just one day here. Perhaps I feel this way because I know I’ll be back in just a few weeks.

I decide to look at the battle from the Confederate side of things today. I walked Confederate Ave all the way back to the Seminary. It was a nice walk, and reminded me about that part of the field, which I haven’t been on during my last few trips here. If it had been drier, I would have walked the one mile Pickett’s charge area. Maybe next time I’m here with C and Map.

I finally got my Rita’s. When I walked back into town I went a got a small cotton candy flavored Italian Ice. There is nothing like Rita’s for intense flavor. Than I broke down and bought a new sweatshirt. I’ve wanted one with Gettysburg on it for a while, and since I really do need a new sweatshirt this was the time. Plus I got the ugliest tie-dyed brown, pick and green one you’ve ever seen. I just love it.

This evening walking back to the hotel, I cut through the National Cemetery and found that someone had placed American flags on the grave of the New York soldiers‘. It is an amazing sight. I would have taken a photo, but just couldn’t do justice to the seen. I found it moving.

Ok so I’m really ready to be home. Think I’m going to get on the road here at about five am. No one at home knows I’m coming tomorrow. I miss Gr.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

School Trips and Redbuds

Woke up this morning in Gettysburg. It was cool, over cast, and the field was covered with Redbud. I saw a whole lot of cardinals, a bunny and lot of noisy school groups.

First thing, I walked down to the new visitor’s center, where I was looking for several books for research on my writing. After that I headed off again on foot too Culp’s Hill. I wanted to take some photos and get a closer feeling to the 123rd NY, as they are a part of my new work. After taking a few photos, I walked out Confederate Ave, back toward town. I was surprised to find the GAR post, on one of the side streets off of Baltimore. I just walked onto a cannon, and there was a great building. I went to the Gettysburg town library, to check out the book sale, but nothing good there this time.

The town is really quite today. Since my appetite seems to have finally come back, I found my way to lunch at O’Rorke’s. I just love their pretzel roll sandwiches.

It is trying to rain, really big drops. I’m going to shop, or at least look around the shops. I would really like to find a new sweatshirt; my VT one is just about had it. I think if I get one I’m going to have to pay $28, since that’s the lowest priced one I’ve found.

I need to start a spread sheet for my Civil War work. So much information, so little time to share it.

The rain s back. So, I went to the Visitor’s center and bought those books. and a CD that I wanted for C and me to listen to on the way home from his place next month. Than I found I was so hungry that I just had to eat [first time I’ve felt that way in about week]. Thing is I was to tired to drive anywhere safely, and my body is too achy to walk very far, so it’s going be have to be Friendly’s. Than I think I’m going to take a hot tub and call it a night.

Sunday, April 19, 2009

On The Road To Ohio

I got on the road at 5:15 this morning. I picked up a rental car at the Albany Airport, cause I really didn’t want to drive my big truck all over Ohio. Just before Buffalo, NY I saw a big fluke of wild turkeys. There were three big old Tom’s all fluffed up and strutting. That and one golden Retriever in the back of a green jeep that I passed just after going into PA, that all you could see was this big tail going back and forth. Other that those two things it was a pretty boring drive. Tonight I am staying about twenty minutes from the Canton OH airport where I will pick C up in the morning.

Saturday, April 18, 2009

Stomach All Tied Up

I’m so sick of the news. Even if the new is good, before they are done with the report, they spin everything out to be bad. Today is going to be a long one. I guess I’m back on with the college trip on Monday and Tuesday with C. He dropped that class Thursday, and I know that that killed him. So I’ve got just today to get things clean up around here. And, as usual it seems that everyone want a part of my time.

I’m having a really hard time with this trip. I’ve been dealing with a huge knot in my stomach for days. I have feeling of dread, that something somewhere in my life isn’t running right. I am not even looking forward to any part of the trip. I have been on the edge of tears for days now as well. I get don’t get it, it’s not like me.

Big still isn’t home. He had a guy come down from Burlington to fix the starter on the Skid Steer. They are still working on it. I guess I was lucky I saw him at the shop this morning. If I had known he was going to be this late, I would have gone back up to the shop. So anyway I’m home alone. Little is out with his girl friend Whit. C just called me to let me know he got a letter for us [as in his parents] from Bethany. It calmed me talk to him.

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Stressful Day

We went to Rupert last night for Big’s Uncle June’s memorial service. It wasn’t overly sad, and in some way it was hard to remember that he had died. This was really more of family get together. We all had plenty of time to get used to the idea that he was going. It was while I was sitting listening to the minister drone on about a man she obviously didn’t know, that I realized I am the keeper of the family stories. There is one in every family, in my case I’m the keeper of my hubby’s family as well as my own. We aren’t the people who tell the stories necessarily, but we are the ones who start the stories, so everyone else will remember. I don’t know how I became this person for Big’s family, but I know that I inherited it from my Mother’s Father and my Dad’s foster Mother. I wonder who will take over for me.

We have a very annoying wood pecker in the yard this morning. He is hammering on the metal roofing on the barn. It is really loud. Actually all the birds are stupid acting today. Do you remember the Disney movie well everyone is twitter-pated.

Just got a call from C. His English teacher just told him that she didn’t think she could give him a passing grade, so he should drop the class. This suck so big. He has been caring a good solid “B” with his in class work, but she doesn’t like his writing pieces. He’s just been accepted to two colleges and if he gets a bad grade they won’t take him. I think he is going to have to drop the class and take it again latter. I feel like I’ve been kicked in the gut, I can’t even imagine what C is feeling like.

I got through the stress, I think. Ed met at the office, but he didn't do any office work because the poker players showed up. It was alright with me, because I had enough for the day.

Saturday, March 14, 2009

College Tour

12:09 pm - C and I are watching the old movieNorth to Alaska, withJohn Wayne. It's a nice way to spend a Saturday. Thursday he and I drove down to Morris MN to look at the college. Since its about a seven hour drive down there from Ely, we went the night before and stayed at the Prairie Inn. One of the football coaches took us out to dinner at a pizza joint. The next morning we drove to the school and took the grand tour, we had lunch with the coaches, more meetings. than we drove home. We got home last night about ten. Today we are working on college applications, and just chilling out.

4:35 pm - Just finished another college application with C. We are trying to remember all the extra activities he did in high school and it was a lot harder than I thought. He did a lot of stuff.

10:00 pm - we just finished watching Will Ferrell's take on George Bush. That was a waist of an hour and half, I'll never get back. I really though the show would be funny, but not. I took Map out for a nice walk around town this evening just before dark. It is really warm out here.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Clean Up From Snow & College Ap's

11:33 am - I just woke C up so he could watch a dog sled race that he helped out with here in Ely on TV. We've got to clean up from yesterdays snow fall. C might even have to get out his snow blower for the front walk. Big got home from FL last night. I talked to him for about 15 minutes and I'm already feeling depressed about the business. It makes me want to stay out here even more.

5:11 pm - We spent the afternoon working on C's college applications. We made an appointment with the football coach at U of MN for tomorrow night, so we will be driving down tomorrow and spending the night. I've pretty much decided that I'm going to stay out here longer, trying to get all the paper work completed.

8:50 pm - C and I have had a great day, talking about all sort of things, you'd never guess a twenty year old son and his mother would talk about. I really love hanging out with C. Map was going crazy around here until just a little while ago, when she finally crashed on the couch. She has issues with C and I sitting together on couch when we were working on the applications.

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Ely Snow

Yesterday March 9
11:15 am - It's a gray morning with C still in bed and Map chilling out with me on the couch. I'm thinking about staying out here with C longer. I've got to figure out how to get him into his next college and I don't think I can do it in one week.

Today March 10
11:38 am - The snow has just started and the wind is up, but we are still waiting for the predicted storm to get here. Map and I just got back in from a walk around the block. I had to get her out of the house.

3:53 pm - The snow has finally got here, but so far no real wind to speak of yet. We just ate our dinner. Neither C or I have gotten dressed today. This is my idea of a perfect vacation.

8:44 pm - It is really coming down out there. I love it. I really should take Map and go for a walk around the town, but I don't think I'm going to make it. Right now I thinking about popcorn and a movie.

Sunday, March 8, 2009

Nice Weekend in MN

12:23 pm - I took Map for a walk around Miner's Lake yesterday, which was great until the heal pain came back last night. I've decided that somehow the stretching I've been doing over the last couple of weeks is helping that pain. So I went back to stretching this morning. Now we'll see. C just got up. He's taking advantage of having me here to take care of the dog.

9:02 pm - C and just finished watchingBig Love I didn't know he was fan of the show. Map has decided tonight that she is going to bond with me. She's been in my lap all evening. Its been a nice weekend, I love hang out with C.

Thursday, March 5, 2009

Badly Run Flights

10:12 am - I've got to get going and get my things packed. I've got two hours to clean out my truck, pack, and kill time. Isn't it funny that I can't wait to get out of the house and see C, but I don't really want to go. I love being home when Big is away and I hate leaving Gr, who is already looking sad.

1:41 pm - I'm at the airport in Albany. I've seen it so busy here. i had to park in the over flow's over flow parking lot, and it took me over twenty minutes to get through security. That's crazy for this airport. Now I can just relax, read, and do some writing. [I've developed an idea for telling the Reynolds story.]

5:34 pm - I'm in the air finally. I don't think I've ever seen a worse job done in loading a plane. Then when they got us on the plane, we were told that do to traffic we couldn't take off. So I'm guessing my once plenty of time between flights is now going to be a tight connection.

7:22 pm - I made it to the plane for Duluth with about five minutes to spare. I love how when they open the door of the plane we all push our way out and run up the shoot like cattle.

10:17 - I have found myself in my favorite hotel, with my rental car, and finally relaxed after a long day. I'm eating a pizza, since I didn't get any dinner. Tomorrow I will head up to C's place, tonight and the morning I sleep in.

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

New Tiny Laptop

9:41 am - My laptop definitely went south last night. I've had it for seven years. So I guess I'm going to bite the bullet and buy a new one today. I'm off to Staples to see what I can find.

4:39 pm - So I bought this tiny computer, that weighs in at less than a pound and a half. I knew I wanted something small for traveling in the airport and this is it. Little just let me know that I've got to go to Bellows Falls to pick up his friend Em, so I've got to get some home paper work done tonight.

10:32 pm - I'm still trying to figure everything out on this new computer. Is a little tight and I keep hitting the wrong keys, but I think that will get better. It's going to be a full day tomorrow, so I think I'll call it a night.

Monday, March 2, 2009

Snow On The Screen

10:05 am - My life has been so dull lately that I couldn't even think of anything to write about. At least today I can report that were getting some snow. Big left yesterday for a week long trip to play golf in Florida with some of the guys. So things are relaxed around here.

3:38 pm - It's still snowing and the wind has kicked up. I got payroll done and few other office things taken care of. Now I wont have to go back to the office until Wednesday.

10:02 pm - Damn my lap top crashed tonight. I guess it's time to buy a new one, I really didn't want to. Worse thing is it ate up my photo of the snow today. On the good side "Saving Grace" is back on tonight. C called so I know he's alright, and Little and I manged a whole evening on the couch together. Life goes on [well maybe not for my computer].

Friday, February 27, 2009


9:08 pm it is raining had tonight, and that means ice every where in the morning. I spent a long day in the office, with bills, forms, meeting, web calls, and dead line mailings. At least the day went by fast. Just found out that Big is going to FL three day earlier than we thought, so he's out of here on Sunday. That will be a nice break for Little and I.

Tuesday, February 24, 2009


12:28 pm - Big is going into a melt down and I'm left with nothing but to clean up after him and hope. I know he has something going on, his health, the business, but he wont let me in. On the other hand being shut out leaves me hanging out on the end of a limb, even more alone than ever. All I can think of is the poster of the little kitten hanging from a branch with the words "Hang in there Baby". Only I would add a little balloon over the kitten's head with "Anyone got some supper glue". I know my world is falling a part, I just can't find the cracks.

Monday, February 23, 2009


11:54 am - I dropped Gr off at PetSmart for a grooming. He really didn't want to go in. First time I've ever heard him whine. Now while I'm waiting to pick him up, I'm hitting the stores to pick up a few things before heading back to the office.

10:53 pm - I'm worried about Big. Something is going on with him that I just can't figure out. I think he is sick, but he wont let anyone help. I admit to praying every night that he will still be here in the morning. Shouldn't be feeling this way.

Sunday, February 22, 2009

Catching Up Again

Yesterday February 21 2009
12:10 pm - I had to pick up a few things at the grocery store and grab some lunch. I got to experience a badly behaved parent at the Salvation Army. You know the ones whose children are running wild and the parent response is to issue empty threats. In this case two boys who had found a couple of swords which they wanted to buy, and were running around the store with them bumping into things and people. Mom's response was to repeatedly threaten not to buy the swords, if they didn't stop running around. The boys didn't and she still bought the swords. Clear case of a badly behaved parent.

6:23 pm - Another quite day. Gr and I took a walk around the Arlington Rec Park [not enough snow up there to snow shoe on]. Than we came home and took a nap. Now I'm enjoying watching the classic "Steel Magnolias" and when the adds are on "Walk The Line".

February 22, 2009
8:45 pm - It is snowing hard tonight. Going to be very pretty in the morning. Little and Big are home from ice fishing. I've spent the day dreaming of being in Ely with C and Map. Its been a pleasant weekend for me, if only there were more like them.

Friday, February 20, 2009

Grown Up Snow Day

8:40 am - It is a winter wonderland out there this morning.

11:32 am - It's snowing even harder today. So much for the weathermen getting it right. Big left this morning to go ice fishing for the weekend. It's the Great Benson Ice Fishing Derby. When Little gets done working on the mountain I have to drive him up. I hope it stops snowing before than.

2:59 pm - I should feel guilty for waisting a day, but this felt so good. I didn't get dressed until eleven-thirty, and than only sweats. I ate popcorn for lunch. I've been channel surfing and playing computer solitaire. It has been wonderful. It has been a wonderful mini vacation.

10:07 pm - I just got back from dropping Little off. Thankfully I didn't have to drive him all the way up to Ice Fishing Camp. He is spending the night with SP, and than they will go up in the morning. This was good thing for me, because the road aren't good. Vermont does a cruddy job taking care of our roads. Little and I grabbed dinner at Friendly's in Manchester, where we ran into his old girlfriend JS. They speak to each other, but don't look at each other. Interesting.

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Cathing Up

Yesterday 17 February
8:33 am - Gr and I slept much better last night. Well he slept better, I spent a lot of time trying not to move, because I didn't want to hit his foot. I don't remember how he moved into my bed. Anyhow I need to get going to the eye doctor.

Today 18 February
8:20 am - Mother just called to let me know I should look out the window in the yard. We had three deer out under the hemlock tree eating seeds from the cones. While my darling dog Gr slept away the morning in a chair. The deer look good, still very healthy.

2:48 pm - I've been plucking my way through my to do list. Most importantly I got Gr licenced for another year. I even dug out my St Patrick Day decorations. OK so what I'm really doing is killing time, putting off paying bills. My net chore. Oh and the snow has finally arrived.

8:47 pm - Sitting in the truck in Bennington in a snow storm. Little E is on his third class of CRASH. He got picked up at a party, under aged drinking, three weeks before he turned twenty-one. So the State took his driver licence for six months and the completion of this class. It's going to be a bitch of drive home.

10;25 pm - Still snowing hard, and I can tell you that the roads are slippery.

Monday, February 16, 2009

Can't Sleep If Gr Doesn't

7:10 am - Gr had a bad night, so I had a bad night. It seems that something is bothering his left front paw. The paw isn't bad enough that he is in whining pain, but it's causing him to limp and pace and he wont let me touch it. I've got to try to get him into the vet this morning.

3:48 am - So I took Gr to the vet and he seems to think that Gr has strained one of his toes. The vet says it will be better in a week or so of Gr not running in the crusty snow. The only way that I see that happening is if we go back to Gettysburg, and since that wont be happening, Gr will be limping for a while. He did get his yearly check up and shots while we were there so that's done.

10:28 pm - I just looked at my calendar and realized that I have an eye appointment in the morning. I really don't feel much like going back up to Manchester again this week. I wonder if there is any way I could reschedule. Well anyhow at least it looks like Gr is sleeping tonight, so I am off to [fingers crossed here] a good nights sleep.

Saturday, February 14, 2009

Love Hearts Candy Flowers

9:52 am - Some days it's just not worth trying to write. Yesterday was one of those. We drove home from Gettysburg and didn't get in until after eight last night. The ski traffic coming up through Troy last night was incredible. I really wanted to sleep in, but I had to had to take Little E to work, and than Big E needed something done at the office. I can't begin to tell you how wonderful it felt to get home and take a shower. I'm not planning to get a heck of a lot done today, check my email, do a couple of loads of laundry, and go to Bennington for some groceries. I don't even care about making a fuss about Valentine Day. I am just lying low.

2:27 pm - I had lunch at Pizza Hut and than I went through the depressing shopping trip of Valentine Day. All that red, hearts, candy, and flowers, knowing none of it will be coming my way. And yes I am happily married. I did get Valentine Day gifts for Big and Little. I even made Big E a pie.

5:44 pm - They finally got Big's father tucked into the re-hab in Granville. The crappy doctor's assistance over in Dartmouth scheduled an ambulance, arranged for his release from the hospital, but never bothered to contact the nursing home to see if they had a room. I guess Big's brother GP really went off. Bet they all know they aren't dealing with PP anymore. Sure when Big gets home from visiting I'll get the whole story.

10:25 pm - Big and I had a nice dinner. Little got home sooner than I thought he would, and said that he didn't have to work tomorrow. Big told me hie thinks there is a good chance that he'll be getting a job up on Stratton for this summer. That would make things look so much better. I don't normally take any kind of drugs, but tonight I think I'm going to take something to help me sleep. I really need the rest.

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Recommended And Not Recommended

7:28 am - I took Gr out so he could pee and now he has gone back to bed call cuddled into my spot. It's going to be a lovely day, but wicked windy.

5:03 pm - I went to see the Cyclorama today. This is an extraordinary work of art. I believe this must be what looking at the work of the masters is like. Whether you like history or not, I would say that getting to view this work is a must do in life. Gr and I just got back in from another trip around the field. We covered Culp's Hill and some of the High Water Mark area, all on foot. Which in truth is the only way to see the battlefield; on foot. I think I might have tired Gr out.

8:29 pm - Big E and I went to the Dobbins House for dinner. I just don't get it about this place. This was our second trip, and nether time could I say that we had any kind of meal which would make me want to return, or to recommend the place. For my money I still like the dinner at the Farnsworth House. Anyhow it's going to be an early night for me. Fighting the wind and all that fresh air has made me sleepy. I'm sad to say that this was my last night in Gettysburg. It's been a nice trip.

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Walking the Battlefield

12:20 pm - I spent the morning treading around Culp's Hill. My favorite place on the Gettysburg Battlefield. Big E left us this morning so he could go back to the Sportsmen's Show. So after two and half hours of walking the field we sitting out in a t-shirt at a picnic table writing in beautiful sunny 60+ weather. There isn't any snow down here, so the little wind that is blowing isn't even cold. I couldn't have dreamed a nicer day. Gr and I are going to take a short rest that this afternoon it's off to the Round Tops.

1:49 pm - I've just found that I really like Desperate Housewives

5:09 pm - Gr and I just walked in from Little Round Top. We met a nice talkative guy named Walt between the two Tops. He's a nice gentleman who had retired down here from Long Island. I still can't believe what a beautiful day it is. If it weren't for the pain I've had in my heal since Christmas, this would have been my best day in Gettysburg ever.

10:12 pm - Big E and just got back from the movies. We went to see "New in Town". Cutie movie but I would like this opportunity to apologise to my friends and family in Minnesota.

Sunday, February 8, 2009

Ready Set Pack

2:00 pm - Big E took me out for breakfast this morning. We decided to wait until tomorrow to head to PA. This really works well for me, I've had a lot to get done. We spent a couple of hours at the office. I've got dinner started, the kitchen cleaned up and a load of laundry finished, now I've got to run over to Bennington.

5:48 pm - My God the moon is up and it's huge. I've still got to pack our things, but I got caught up other wise. We're watching a movie about the woman who wrote The Yearling. I so wish I could get myself focused and could work harder at my writing. Oh well for now I'm going online to see if the webcam in Ely has any deer.

8:32 pm -Little E is finally home from working at the snowmobile place. I am packed and we are ready to hit the road in the morning.

Saturday, February 7, 2009

Poor Gr Puppy

8:20 am - Poor Gr was sick last night. He threw up a couple of times before I could get his door open, Poor little guy. I've got to get somethings to the Post Office this morning, before they close. Than it's off to Bennington to do some running around.

8:49 pm - Big E came home tonight and informed me that we were leaving on our trip tomorrow instead of Monday. Easy for him he doesn't even pack his own bags. I've been running around all night getting things put together to leave. Gr isn't happy, cause he knows we're going somewhere, he just doesn't know he's going too. Wish there was some way I could make him understand that. I've been trying to get my computer running right again. I did a clean sweep and put in virus software, but I don't think any of it has helped.

Friday, February 6, 2009

Mammograms Only Come Once A Year

8:05 am - I was up and rolling early this morning. Needed to be in Rutland at the hospital for a mammogram. Just on of those yearly test that we women get. One which in my opinion most women make a much bigger fuss about that in necessary. In case you're wondering, they aren't painful or in truth are they even uncomfortable. The worst part is being cold in the room in one of those hospital gowns, and not being able to put on deodorant until it's over.

8:51 pm - Little E went over to Albany with his cousins SP and BK to play laser tag. I found the movie To Kill a Mockingbird on TV, and so am enjoying watching it. I really loved the book, and I believe the movie did it justice. Its been a nice quite afternoon and evening around here.

Thursday, February 5, 2009

Stuck In The Office

8:48 am - It's a beautiful cold winter morning. I've got to head up to the office. Big E and I've got to do a bid this morning. It looks like we'll have enough work for another week. That's how the business is going this year, one week at a time.

2:00 pm - Have I ever said how much I hate doing office work with Big E. He never has everything together and ready to go. So I spend most the the day sitting looking at the wall. Oh and that headache is back.

8:15 pm - I made it home around four. It felt so good to be in the house. I got dinner made, the kitchen cleaned, and than kicked back. I am so sleepy tonight, and yet I don't feel like going to sleep.

Wednesday, February 4, 2009


7:07 am - Getting up with a headache this morning. Sharp stabbing remitting pain on the right side of my head. Had me lying in bed wondering just what I did with my life. If I kicked off today, what can I say I've left behind. All I could come up with was raising the boys and helping Big E grow his business. That's not bad I guess. I have also thought about my wanting to be a writer. The fact is the only thing holding me back from being a writer is me. If I write, I am a writer. Focus.

8:15 am - Just realized that today was the day fifteen years ago that my Dad died. I really can't believe it's been that long. I can't believe how often I still think about him.

10:20 am - Big E's Father is sick again. And this time his Mother's got something to. He just called and said for me not to come in because he's got to take care of his Father while GP runs his Mother to the hospital. No way is Big E's Father going to be healthy enough for the knee on the 16th.

10:20 pm - I had to wait until nine to pick Little E from his first Crash class. Got home to Big E all upset again. They had to take his Father back to the hospital again. Not that, that's much of a surprise. I just wish this wasn't taking so much out of Big E.

Monday, February 2, 2009

Stress Is A Good Mover

9:18 am - I just can't seem to get moving this morning. Think I'm over whelmed by how much I need to get done. I just want to go back to bed and call it a day.

11:19 am - Nothing like a little stress to get you moving. I have an appointment for a mammogram on Friday and just found out today that I have to see a doctor, first for a piece of paper. So I scrambled and got into NorthShire today. But really how dumb to have to pay for an appointment just for a piece of paper.

1:02 pm - Time for some lunch. I took Gr for a walk at the Manchester Rec, but had to cut it a little short. I gt a muscle cramp in my lower left back. It was a ruff walk back to the truck. After lunch I have to do a little banking that back to the office. It looks like I'm going to make it through the to-do-list.

9:49 pm - Big E got his father how from the hospital. I think his father gave him a hard time coming home. I know his Mother did. Our pellet stove is making a strange noise tonight. At least its not a ringing in my ears, that really makes me feel better. Oh and also my favorite TV show is coming back to TNT on March 8th; Saving Grace

Saturday, January 31, 2009

Snow. Use It When You Can

9:32 am - It's sunny and cold. Big E and Little E took Gr yesterday and headed for Lake Champlain. So I went out cross country skiing in Arlington. It's the first time I've been on skies in two years. I had fun and since nothing hurts on me, and we got few inches of fresh snow last night, I'm going again today. But right now I'd just like to go back to bed.

11:06 am - Oh boy, real big move, I put in my contacts. I just can't get moving today. I'm not even dressed yet. I'm waiting for Mother to come home, cause she wants to ski with me. If she isn't back by one I'm going t just go without her. I have to do something.

1:56 pm - So I got Mother and we went skiing for an hour. The fresh air, sunshine, and exercise made me feel more alive. Big E called to say they are coming home. He says it's to cold on the Lake for him.

8:40 pm - Everyone is asleep, but me. When Big E is home no one gets to use the couch. I've given up any thought that my marriage includes conversation. After 22 years the best I can say is, he's a good man, and we have a comfortable marriage. Trust me when I tell you that not such a bad thing.

Thursday, January 29, 2009

Snow Clean Up

11:46 am - Yesterday was a snow day. Little E and I hung out on the couch and did nothing. Today we are at the office cleaning up the snow. I shoveled, Little E is plowing with the skidster. Big Ed's father did fine yesterday and it looks like he'll finally be getting the new knee in February on the tenth.

9:36 pm - It was a quite afternoon. Little and I had lunch at Chili's and bought some food for tonight at Hannafords. Than we just kind of laid back. I went down to Mother's with Gr to visit with Aunt M. I'm having some trouble with my computer, it's time to get the thing cleaned up.

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Sad When Historical Items Aren't Taken Care Of

9:13 am - Big E called and said he needed me in the office to do a bid for a sidewalk. Thank God, because this is good work. After I'm headed to the Russell Collection and some research time on my Arlington, Sandgate, and Sunderland men.

4:17 pm - I left Gr at the shop with Big E while I went to the Russell Collection to work on my research. I found some great info about some of the Arlington men who were members of the local GAR. As a side note I can't begin to tell you how disappointed I am in the condition of the collection. They have priceless items and they aren't being taken care of. The place is disgraceful.

7:10 pm - Big E called from the Weathervane over in Lebannon. He took his parents over tonight, so his father can hopefully get closer to his knee replacement. He dropped them at the hotel [which we had to pay for], and is picking up dinner. He said his mother wrote down their order, because they don't think he can remember. I should have gone with him, but the truth is after five months of this knee replacement, I'm sick of the whole thing.

10:02 pm - Little E came home from bowling with S P and R P. So we are all tucked in here waiting for the snow storm that they say is coming tonight into tomorrow. Gr is acting funny tonight, like he is really tired out, or at least kind of spooked. I'm going to keep an eye on him.

Sunday, January 25, 2009

The End of Peace

9:00 am - Beautiful cold clear Sunday morning. To finish off a wonderful weekend I get to watch Sunday Morning on CBS with no one bothering me. They are talking about the rise of memories and I'm reading one right now, "Bayonet! Forward": My Civil War Reminiscences by Joshua L. Chamberlain. Just a reminder that this isn't a new kind of writing. After the shows over I'm going to run to Bennington and do some grocery shopping.

11:52 am - I just met the rarest of all beings in Bennington; a helpful clerk. I'm sorry to say I didn't get the kids name.

10:23 - Remember that damn hot tub. It attracts people. N P seem to going to crash here tonight, which is a good idea after the beer he's been drinking. Well so much for nice quite weekend, with the house being all mine.

Saturday, January 24, 2009

Broken Bear

10:06 am - I've got a nice empty house and I'm enjoying it. The feeling of being relaxed is somehow strange to me. I'm watching an old Jimmy Stewart western Broken Arrow on AMC. I've done my laundry and in a few minutes I'll get to work on some research. Best of all I'm not even going to get out of my PJ's.

11:45 am - I broke the only Christmas gift I got this year that I liked or could use. It was a little bear that my Mother gave me, which was to hold toilet paper. I knocked it off the wall and it broke into pieces on the floor. The whole house just shook, when some of the snow and ice just came slidding off the roof.

9:10 pm - I've all the preliminary research of by book done, now comes real leg work. I love this stuff, and can't wait to start spending my time among old books and papers. Big E called and said they had a great day on the ice and caught some really nice fish. It's good to know we've all had a nice weekend.

Friday, January 23, 2009

Dizzy but Happier

8:00 am - I think I might actually get out of the house and do some shopping today. Gr is laying out front in the snow looking toward Mother's house. I know I shouldn't be this way but I'm excited that the guys are going ice fishing for the weekend and the house will be mine.

11:59 am - Wow! I couldn't believe the case of sensory over load I got when I walked into the stores today. Way to much to have to look at and try to take in. Kind of made me feel dizzy. I'm at Friday's for a little lunch. One more store than home. I'm buying something just for me; a new fry pan. Doesn't take a lot to make me happy.

4:35 pm - It's odd to be home without Gr. Big E took him with him ice fishing on Champlain for the weekend. I'm feeling much better today, more like myself. I think I've gotten through another bout of depression. This time was a bad one. Oh well not to dwell. It is 40+ today, but thankfully that wont last. Now that I'm feeling better I'm going to get out tomorrow and enjoy the snow.

6:49 pm - I feel strange tonight, dizzy and light headed. I have no idea what's wrong. I talked to Big E a few minutes ago. It's a wonder he didn't fall asleep talking to me.

10:08 pm I just finished watching the movie Smart People. It's a really good movie, I recommend it. I'm still feeling kind of dizzy, so I think its off to bed, and hope that feeling is gone in the morning.

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Catch Up

From January 20th

10:10 am - I had to clean out the pellet stove this morning, because it stopped working. Now I have my fingers crossed it will start back up. There is no place to hide today from the ridiculous circus that is the Obama inauguration. I personally feel we are making fools of ourselves. It is a lovely day with just a little snow and breaks of bright sunshine.

Today January 22nd

8:48 am - My computer is acting up this morning. I haven't written the last couple of days, because I've been battling a bout of depression. I think, I hope the dam broke yesterday. At least at this point I'm doing better.

10:07 pm - I got a lot of work done today, only three men left to do the preliminary research on. I still don't feel just right, but at least I'm moving today, and not having negative thoughts. Big and Little E are both going away ice fishing this weekend, so maybe a weekend to myself and I can get it back together. At least for a little while.

Monday, January 19, 2009

Research and Making It Through Winter

11:05 am - I've been in the office trying to put things together. If I didn't feel depressed before, I've got reason to now. I can see no way for us to make is through winter.

9:41 pm - I spent a wonderful afternoon research the men of Co E. I love to spend time in the late 1800's. We had a good dinner of Venison and mashed potatoes. Little E got home early tonight and it's been a quite night. I've had plenty of time to write. I guess that's the silver lining to Big E's business going through a slow down, I have time to work on my projects. To top off the night and make the best of all evenings, Gr is being very loving.

Sunday, January 18, 2009

Keep Moving

7:11 am - I'm up dressed and ready to take Little E up to Sunderland so he can catch a ride to work. His not having a licence is a pain in the ass. The part of my day that is going really well, is that Big E has gone ice fishing today, so I might have some peace.

12:03 pm - I'm listening to a pod cast of Wednesday's NPR Political Junkie. I heard a blurb of a trivia question on this show just before I went to get lunch, back on Wednesday in Duluth. The question was "when did we come close to getting our first African American First Lady"? I have searched for the answer all over the web and haven't been able o find an answer, so I'm listening to the show waiting for an answer. And the answer is Teressa Hines Kerry. Boy what a let down down that answer is.

4:07 pm - I finally got off my butt and did something around here. I made a meet sauce for dinner, got some books ready to ship and combed a knot out of Gr's fur. I know that I'm dealing with a bout of depression. Course knowing it doesn't make being in the middle of it any easier.

10:07 - Just finished watching the first show of a new season of Big Love on HBO. I really like this show. I've got to grab a shower, because I wont have time in the morning before I take Little E to work again. I'm just moving forward.

Saturday, January 17, 2009

Miserable Feeling All Day

8:19 am - I just heard that Obama will be taking a train into Washington for the inauguration. He'll be taking the same route Abraham Lincoln took, except Lincoln snuck into town because of an assassination threat. I wonder if Lincoln could have ever thought that 148 years latter an African American man would become President in an America were he didn't have to sneak into Washington.

8:55 am - I feel like crying. I made it real clear to Big E that I wanted to enjoy a day of doing nothing, have no one bugging me. I'd do the laundry and make dinner, but that was it. Well I don't know who I was talking to, because it must not have been Big E. He showed up asking me to fix breakfast, to help him with his hot tub, oh would you get this, you don't mind if I use the quilt off your bed to pack around the hose, etc. The worse part is that if I point this out to him, that once again he is just pointing out to me how little I matter in this world, I'm the bitch.

3:51 pm - I've been miserable all day. I have no reason in life and if I found one Big E would only let me have it, if it worked for him. I hate what I have let my life become. Somewhere over the years I have traded me for...well I'm not sure what I traded me for, but I know I'm lost. How do I get me back.

6:42 pm - How sad is that the high point of my day will be slipping in between nice clean sheet on a freshly made bed tonight. Of course Gr gets to use it first.

9:28 pm - So Little E hasn't come home yet and hadn't bothered to call. I broke down and called his cell to see if he was coming home tonight, to find he is at the Bennington Bowling Lanes. I don't know how I did it, but with that one I raised an un-grateful child, who now that I think about it acts way to much like his father. To top off this wonderful day, I am getting a cold sore. Please tell me that tomorrow will be a nicer day.