Where Were These Buyers Hiding

It was along day spent in the office. Big called me this morning at six and wanted to know how soon I could be up there. That took care of any dreamy idea I was having about sleeping in. I think I got everything done for the week, or at least everything Big had thought of up that point. I know he'll have me back in there a few more times this week. While I was up at the shop today, we sold about $4,000 worth of stone, and I sold Big's trailer after he went home. So all in all it was a very good day.

Little still isn't home and I don't have much hope that he'll be here any time soon. Today was his softball tournament down in Pownal. I'm guessing that he is enjoying a little part with other drinkers. At least I don't have to worry about him driving. I just think it's to bad that he couldn't take Whit to her prom tonight.

So we sold the house yesterday, and today I have gotten two phone calls from people desperate to offer me more money. Where were these people before. I suppose we could still take other offers since no money has changed hands yet, but doesn't seem very honest to me.

I took advantage of having a empty house tonight to finish reading. And I made dinner of a bowl of popcorn and half a pint of Ben and Jerry's. This is my idea of a vacation.

Stuck In The Office

8:48 am - It's a beautiful cold winter morning. I've got to head up to the office. Big E and I've got to do a bid this morning. It looks like we'll have enough work for another week. That's how the business is going this year, one week at a time.

2:00 pm - Have I ever said how much I hate doing office work with Big E. He never has everything together and ready to go. So I spend most the the day sitting looking at the wall. Oh and that headache is back.

8:15 pm - I made it home around four. It felt so good to be in the house. I got dinner made, the kitchen cleaned, and than kicked back. I am so sleepy tonight, and yet I don't feel like going to sleep.

Research and Making It Through Winter

11:05 am - I've been in the office trying to put things together. If I didn't feel depressed before, I've got reason to now. I can see no way for us to make is through winter.

9:41 pm - I spent a wonderful afternoon research the men of Co E. I love to spend time in the late 1800's. We had a good dinner of Venison and mashed potatoes. Little E got home early tonight and it's been a quite night. I've had plenty of time to write. I guess that's the silver lining to Big E's business going through a slow down, I have time to work on my projects. To top off the night and make the best of all evenings, Gr is being very loving.

Getting a Couple of Things Off My Chest

9:32 am - The dogs are driving me nuts this morning. They keep jumping up a running out the door barking at something, but I don't see anything. I don't think they do either. Gr and I are really ready for Map to go home. At least the guys should be having a good day ice fishing. It is beautiful and sunny.

12:06 pm - I've spent the morning in the the office. I hate being only able to pay off half the bills, playing the pick and choose game of which bill to pay; trying to make money stretch. Then the guys are bugging me, the couple who we still have working. They aren't doing what Big E asks them to, and are just costing us money. I'm going to tell them not to come in tomorrow.

12:59 pm - There's a new menu at Friendly's. It looks bigger, but I think it's just the same stuff with a new layout.

6:21 pm - I still haven't heard anything from Big E and the boys. I'm guessing they had a good day fishing. I don't know if they'll be home tonight or not though. Good thing I went for frozen pizza for dinner. You know all three of them have cell phones, but it's way to much for me expect a call. I've been looking at the painting Big E's sister did of him and his bear as a Christmas gift. We're going to be hanging it over the bar in the kitchen. The thing is ugly, but Big E loves it so I'm stuck with the thing.

10:30 pm - It's starting to snow [beginning of a big storm]. They guys made it home, C caught a fish. That's pretty much all the info I got out of them before Little E went to bed, Big E fell asleep on the couch, and C went into the shower. No body talks to me around here.

They Wont Let Women Jump

12:03 pm - I didn't get back to sleep this morning after Big E left. I laid on the couch about an hour, than gave up and got going for the day. I'm shopping in Saratoga. I went to Borders to pick up a book about traveling with your dog. Getting prepared for the trip home with C and Map. Anyhow the place was a zoo. I had to drive around the block twice before I was lucky enough to find a place to park.

5:13 pm - Puts me at the office moving money around. I got a bad call this afternoon from the accountant. It looks like we are going to owe a ton to the government. I consider this to be my fault as I didn't demand to pay quarterlies this year. Of course you'd think for how much we pay the accountant every year the would be able to figure things out. I've got the head home now. At least Big E loves me enough to have called and left a message to warn me that our parking area at home is very icy and I should be careful.

10:17 pm - C is not feeling good. This cold has really knocked him good. Little E went out for his Monday night with the cousins. Map is cuddled up with me on the couch. Hey did you know that they wont let women do the Ski Jump in the Winter Olympics. Did you know that women hold the longest distance in the Ski Jump. I guess women still have a long way to go baby.

Working With the Boss..Oh God

8:37 am - I used to have treasures. Little things I would find or pick up. Things that when I saw them they would make me smile or feel happy. I just realized I don't have any treasures any more. Somewhere along the way my life has become sadder and smaller.

12:25 pm - Spent the whole morning in the office with Big E. Took three hours to do what I could have finished up in about one, if I wasn't waiting on him. Big E tells me when to come in to do bills so he'll be there, than spends half his time on the phone or running out to ask the guys something. I spend the time trying to stay busy with other work, but not knowing when he is going to be ready to start up another bill.

3:15 pm - All I here is how bad the economy is, and how no one is going to out shopping for Christmas this year. Yeah well they weren't in Rutland this afternoon. Two day before Black Friday, and the shopping center had police in the parking lot directing traffic. I saw way more carts full up being pushed to the register.

9:46 pm - Enjoying another night of peace and quite. Little E is out. Talked to C, to see if he'd made it to H C's house yet for Thanksgiving [and to see if M made it there without throwing up to much]. Big E and had a good talk about the business tonight, and although things still aren't looking to good, I feel better about how it is going.

What Do I Do All Day

12:07 pm - In the office all morning. I feel like such a waist working here. Off to Manchester to make a deposit.

2:29 pm - I had lunch at Mulligan's, couldn't get by today without their nachos. Than before I did all the other running around [bank, post office, Rite-Aid], I took Gr for a walk at the Rec Park. It was good one with Gr making a friend and behaving beyond my expectations. It was perhaps the only thing in my life I have control over right now. I can go for a walk every day, I can maybe get that part of my life back.

4:43 pm - No one knows just what I do all day long. I'm one of those people in the back ground, juggling all the balls so that everyone else can relax and enjoy the show. I return the phone calls, do the paper work, remind Big E to take care of his promises to clients, do the banking, sell our product, handle the employees, keep everything at the house running from laundry to dinner [although the damn pellet stove isn't working again], today I even had to clean the office toilet, playing plumber when it got stopped up. And yet it doesn't feel to me most days like I have a real job, and don't think many people see me as having a job or even working. I guess that means I'm really good at what I do.

Sleeping On Opening Morning

8:00 am - Wow! I really slept in. It's opening morning of hunting season. I should be in the woods, but I think I've given up.

10:54 am - I don't know why I go near my Mother. You'd think after 40+ years, I'd get that she makes me feel like crap. I pretty much just got told by own Mother that I'm a lazy failure, and a rotten Mother. I really wish I wasn't an only child. Than I wouldn't feel guilty for not going near her. Oh but the failure that I am knows I can't do that, because if I'm not there who will be there for her. Just like I could never sell our house, or move, because I'd have to think about she would feel first. On the plus side, C just called me to tell me one of his buddies just got a nice eight pointer.

1:51 pm - I've been in the office all afternoon, getting payroll done, and all the paper work caught up. At least it was quite today, just me and Gr.

4:12 pm - The bathroom is clean, and now for some me time with a good book and popcorn for dinner.

7:18 pm - We're getting some big wind gust. I can't believe that I'm already giving some thought to going to bed. I can't though, cause I want to catch Rusty Dewees "The Logger", on late night tonight. If C were tonight he'd watch it with me. Maybe I'll even get enough energy to amount to something tonight.

8:22 pm - We've got a pretty good rain storm rolling through. I hope the guys are alright at hunting camp. The News is saying they are getting a severe thunder storm right now. Maybe I'll take a ride over tomorrow and give Big E his messages and check in on them.