Getting Caught Back Up

1 June 2009 - Monday
I spent about an hour this afternoon lying on my belly on a dock. My head hanging over the side at a comfortable angel. I peered through clear to the shallow bottom of the pond. It was there that I found myself transfixed by watching the fry flitting this way and that, the whole group turning on a dime. I don’t know what kind of fish they are, my oldest son could tell me, he is college to learn such things.

These tiny fish, just hatched within the last few days, already have their own little world with rules, and I think a ruler. I watched them long enough to see that three fish in this group were larger than the rest, and the other fish seemed to do what ever and go where ever these three fish went. They bumped and fed there way back and forth under the dock, scattering when my dog splashed through, but re-congregating within minutes.

These tiny baby fish would flash silver when the sun light caught them just right. They were however, on close expectation clear; I could see right through their tiny bodies and see the bone and insides clearly. I could help be wonder as I watched these wonderful creatures, and couldn’t help but wonder how many would live to be full sized fish. Would the three leaders someday be caught and weighed and measured as some trophies.

2 June 2009 - Tuesday
Gr and I drove over to Sugar Hill in NH today so that I could take picture of the Lupine. That whole fields of that lovely flower, and arrange a festival around them every year. The festival isn’t until this coming weekend, but I thought I could get in some shots early. No such luck. The flowers are dismal this year. If it hadn’t been for the young moose we saw by the road the trip would have been a waste. The moose seemed to know that he was about to be photographed and paid no attention to Gr who was barking loudly. So I got a couple of nice shots, before we traveled on.

We found a new favorite ice cream place up here. Out on Route 302 just north of Woodsville is a little yellow building with wonderful home made ice-cream. It will long be Gr’s favorite as they give good doggy’s free scoops of vanilla. You could your whole lunch there for $4.50 [a hotdog, soda, and small ice-cream cone].

Returning to camp found leaning out over the boat rescuing a swallowtail butterfly from the pond. After giving it time to dry it wings and rest, this creature rewarded me offering up some lovely shots of it on the lilac tree in the yard. I than retreated to the porch swing and read the afternoon away, just as you are supposed to do when at camp.

Friday 5 June 2009
The big worry in my life these last couple of days has been my truck. I don’t know how you feel but my world revolves around my truck. For some reason all of the dummy lights keep coming on from time to time. It doesn’t seem to effect how the truck runs, but it freaks me out. I got up early this morning and took the truck over to Carmody’s for a scheduled service and to see if they could figure out what is going on. I’m still in the dark. The service tech put my truck on their computer, but nothing showed up. So I am still driving it around with my fingers crossed. I just hope that if anything major goes wrong, it won’t happen in a place that causes any trouble.

Whoot Whoot

It was a nice bright sunny day. This heat though is a killer. It really shouldn’t be in the eighties this time of year. I’ll be glad when it breaks.

I needed to be in Manchester this afternoon to make a deposit for the business, so I caught lunch at Zoey’s Double Hex. I haven’t been up there in months. It was good to be out of the office for a couple of hours. I wouldn’t mind the paper work nearly as much if we had the money coming in to pay the bills. I was late getting to the Post Office tonight, didn’t know they closed at 4:30. Hopefully my dropping a couple of books into the mail slot won’t be a problem.

Since I didn’t get out of the office until after five, we did dinner out of Paulin’s. I had a really good salad. We had an owl out in the yard tonight making a lot of noise, and getting Gr worked up. Little came down and called to it, and got the owl to call back to him. Kind of cool.

Clean The Kitchen

I slept in this morning, and it felt great. There is nothing like your own bed, especially when you’ve been traveling a lot. I cleaned the kitchen. It really needed it. It’s still not cleaned like it should be, I need to get some glass wax to polish the counter top, and I should really go through all my cupboards. At least when I got home with the groceries today, I had some place to put them. Believe it or not I took two big trash bags out to the dumpster just form the kitchen.

I found out that frogs make a funny hissing noise when being bothered. Gr found one in a cooler top by the corner of the house this afternoon, and was cuffing it, when the frog started to hiss at him. It’s a really strange kind of loud noise. The hissing noise however, didn’t seem to faze Gr any.

Big came home early tonight and we had a nice steak dinner. Since Little is out for the weekend with his new girlfriend Wh, I splurged on a pricey cut of prime rib. It was wonderful. Now if the stupid baseball game would just get over, so we can watch something on TV. I hate professional baseball only slightly less than basketball. Yuck.

Ready To Go Home

Beautiful morning, but I’ve got a headache. That makes me sad when I’m in my favorite place in the whole world. Having said that I can’t believe how ready I am to be going home after just one day here. Perhaps I feel this way because I know I’ll be back in just a few weeks.

I decide to look at the battle from the Confederate side of things today. I walked Confederate Ave all the way back to the Seminary. It was a nice walk, and reminded me about that part of the field, which I haven’t been on during my last few trips here. If it had been drier, I would have walked the one mile Pickett’s charge area. Maybe next time I’m here with C and Map.

I finally got my Rita’s. When I walked back into town I went a got a small cotton candy flavored Italian Ice. There is nothing like Rita’s for intense flavor. Than I broke down and bought a new sweatshirt. I’ve wanted one with Gettysburg on it for a while, and since I really do need a new sweatshirt this was the time. Plus I got the ugliest tie-dyed brown, pick and green one you’ve ever seen. I just love it.

This evening walking back to the hotel, I cut through the National Cemetery and found that someone had placed American flags on the grave of the New York soldiers‘. It is an amazing sight. I would have taken a photo, but just couldn’t do justice to the seen. I found it moving.

Ok so I’m really ready to be home. Think I’m going to get on the road here at about five am. No one at home knows I’m coming tomorrow. I miss Gr.

Badly Run Flights

10:12 am - I've got to get going and get my things packed. I've got two hours to clean out my truck, pack, and kill time. Isn't it funny that I can't wait to get out of the house and see C, but I don't really want to go. I love being home when Big is away and I hate leaving Gr, who is already looking sad.

1:41 pm - I'm at the airport in Albany. I've seen it so busy here. i had to park in the over flow's over flow parking lot, and it took me over twenty minutes to get through security. That's crazy for this airport. Now I can just relax, read, and do some writing. [I've developed an idea for telling the Reynolds story.]

5:34 pm - I'm in the air finally. I don't think I've ever seen a worse job done in loading a plane. Then when they got us on the plane, we were told that do to traffic we couldn't take off. So I'm guessing my once plenty of time between flights is now going to be a tight connection.

7:22 pm - I made it to the plane for Duluth with about five minutes to spare. I love how when they open the door of the plane we all push our way out and run up the shoot like cattle.

10:17 - I have found myself in my favorite hotel, with my rental car, and finally relaxed after a long day. I'm eating a pizza, since I didn't get any dinner. Tomorrow I will head up to C's place, tonight and the morning I sleep in.

Catching Up Again

Yesterday February 21 2009
12:10 pm - I had to pick up a few things at the grocery store and grab some lunch. I got to experience a badly behaved parent at the Salvation Army. You know the ones whose children are running wild and the parent response is to issue empty threats. In this case two boys who had found a couple of swords which they wanted to buy, and were running around the store with them bumping into things and people. Mom's response was to repeatedly threaten not to buy the swords, if they didn't stop running around. The boys didn't and she still bought the swords. Clear case of a badly behaved parent.

6:23 pm - Another quite day. Gr and I took a walk around the Arlington Rec Park [not enough snow up there to snow shoe on]. Than we came home and took a nap. Now I'm enjoying watching the classic "Steel Magnolias" and when the adds are on "Walk The Line".

February 22, 2009
8:45 pm - It is snowing hard tonight. Going to be very pretty in the morning. Little and Big are home from ice fishing. I've spent the day dreaming of being in Ely with C and Map. Its been a pleasant weekend for me, if only there were more like them.

Cathing Up

Yesterday 17 February
8:33 am - Gr and I slept much better last night. Well he slept better, I spent a lot of time trying not to move, because I didn't want to hit his foot. I don't remember how he moved into my bed. Anyhow I need to get going to the eye doctor.

Today 18 February
8:20 am - Mother just called to let me know I should look out the window in the yard. We had three deer out under the hemlock tree eating seeds from the cones. While my darling dog Gr slept away the morning in a chair. The deer look good, still very healthy.

2:48 pm - I've been plucking my way through my to do list. Most importantly I got Gr licenced for another year. I even dug out my St Patrick Day decorations. OK so what I'm really doing is killing time, putting off paying bills. My net chore. Oh and the snow has finally arrived.

8:47 pm - Sitting in the truck in Bennington in a snow storm. Little E is on his third class of CRASH. He got picked up at a party, under aged drinking, three weeks before he turned twenty-one. So the State took his driver licence for six months and the completion of this class. It's going to be a bitch of drive home.

10;25 pm - Still snowing hard, and I can tell you that the roads are slippery.

Can't Sleep If Gr Doesn't

7:10 am - Gr had a bad night, so I had a bad night. It seems that something is bothering his left front paw. The paw isn't bad enough that he is in whining pain, but it's causing him to limp and pace and he wont let me touch it. I've got to try to get him into the vet this morning.

3:48 am - So I took Gr to the vet and he seems to think that Gr has strained one of his toes. The vet says it will be better in a week or so of Gr not running in the crusty snow. The only way that I see that happening is if we go back to Gettysburg, and since that wont be happening, Gr will be limping for a while. He did get his yearly check up and shots while we were there so that's done.

10:28 pm - I just looked at my calendar and realized that I have an eye appointment in the morning. I really don't feel much like going back up to Manchester again this week. I wonder if there is any way I could reschedule. Well anyhow at least it looks like Gr is sleeping tonight, so I am off to [fingers crossed here] a good nights sleep.

Recommended And Not Recommended

7:28 am - I took Gr out so he could pee and now he has gone back to bed call cuddled into my spot. It's going to be a lovely day, but wicked windy.

5:03 pm - I went to see the Cyclorama today. This is an extraordinary work of art. I believe this must be what looking at the work of the masters is like. Whether you like history or not, I would say that getting to view this work is a must do in life. Gr and I just got back in from another trip around the field. We covered Culp's Hill and some of the High Water Mark area, all on foot. Which in truth is the only way to see the battlefield; on foot. I think I might have tired Gr out.

8:29 pm - Big E and I went to the Dobbins House for dinner. I just don't get it about this place. This was our second trip, and nether time could I say that we had any kind of meal which would make me want to return, or to recommend the place. For my money I still like the dinner at the Farnsworth House. Anyhow it's going to be an early night for me. Fighting the wind and all that fresh air has made me sleepy. I'm sad to say that this was my last night in Gettysburg. It's been a nice trip.

Poor Gr Puppy

8:20 am - Poor Gr was sick last night. He threw up a couple of times before I could get his door open, Poor little guy. I've got to get somethings to the Post Office this morning, before they close. Than it's off to Bennington to do some running around.

8:49 pm - Big E came home tonight and informed me that we were leaving on our trip tomorrow instead of Monday. Easy for him he doesn't even pack his own bags. I've been running around all night getting things put together to leave. Gr isn't happy, cause he knows we're going somewhere, he just doesn't know he's going too. Wish there was some way I could make him understand that. I've been trying to get my computer running right again. I did a clean sweep and put in virus software, but I don't think any of it has helped.

Snow Clean Up

11:46 am - Yesterday was a snow day. Little E and I hung out on the couch and did nothing. Today we are at the office cleaning up the snow. I shoveled, Little E is plowing with the skidster. Big Ed's father did fine yesterday and it looks like he'll finally be getting the new knee in February on the tenth.

9:36 pm - It was a quite afternoon. Little and I had lunch at Chili's and bought some food for tonight at Hannafords. Than we just kind of laid back. I went down to Mother's with Gr to visit with Aunt M. I'm having some trouble with my computer, it's time to get the thing cleaned up.

Sad When Historical Items Aren't Taken Care Of

9:13 am - Big E called and said he needed me in the office to do a bid for a sidewalk. Thank God, because this is good work. After I'm headed to the Russell Collection and some research time on my Arlington, Sandgate, and Sunderland men.

4:17 pm - I left Gr at the shop with Big E while I went to the Russell Collection to work on my research. I found some great info about some of the Arlington men who were members of the local GAR. As a side note I can't begin to tell you how disappointed I am in the condition of the collection. They have priceless items and they aren't being taken care of. The place is disgraceful.

7:10 pm - Big E called from the Weathervane over in Lebannon. He took his parents over tonight, so his father can hopefully get closer to his knee replacement. He dropped them at the hotel [which we had to pay for], and is picking up dinner. He said his mother wrote down their order, because they don't think he can remember. I should have gone with him, but the truth is after five months of this knee replacement, I'm sick of the whole thing.

10:02 pm - Little E came home from bowling with S P and R P. So we are all tucked in here waiting for the snow storm that they say is coming tonight into tomorrow. Gr is acting funny tonight, like he is really tired out, or at least kind of spooked. I'm going to keep an eye on him.

Dizzy but Happier

8:00 am - I think I might actually get out of the house and do some shopping today. Gr is laying out front in the snow looking toward Mother's house. I know I shouldn't be this way but I'm excited that the guys are going ice fishing for the weekend and the house will be mine.

11:59 am - Wow! I couldn't believe the case of sensory over load I got when I walked into the stores today. Way to much to have to look at and try to take in. Kind of made me feel dizzy. I'm at Friday's for a little lunch. One more store than home. I'm buying something just for me; a new fry pan. Doesn't take a lot to make me happy.

4:35 pm - It's odd to be home without Gr. Big E took him with him ice fishing on Champlain for the weekend. I'm feeling much better today, more like myself. I think I've gotten through another bout of depression. This time was a bad one. Oh well not to dwell. It is 40+ today, but thankfully that wont last. Now that I'm feeling better I'm going to get out tomorrow and enjoy the snow.

6:49 pm - I feel strange tonight, dizzy and light headed. I have no idea what's wrong. I talked to Big E a few minutes ago. It's a wonder he didn't fall asleep talking to me.

10:08 pm I just finished watching the movie Smart People. It's a really good movie, I recommend it. I'm still feeling kind of dizzy, so I think its off to bed, and hope that feeling is gone in the morning.

Research and Making It Through Winter

11:05 am - I've been in the office trying to put things together. If I didn't feel depressed before, I've got reason to now. I can see no way for us to make is through winter.

9:41 pm - I spent a wonderful afternoon research the men of Co E. I love to spend time in the late 1800's. We had a good dinner of Venison and mashed potatoes. Little E got home early tonight and it's been a quite night. I've had plenty of time to write. I guess that's the silver lining to Big E's business going through a slow down, I have time to work on my projects. To top off the night and make the best of all evenings, Gr is being very loving.

Keep Moving

7:11 am - I'm up dressed and ready to take Little E up to Sunderland so he can catch a ride to work. His not having a licence is a pain in the ass. The part of my day that is going really well, is that Big E has gone ice fishing today, so I might have some peace.

12:03 pm - I'm listening to a pod cast of Wednesday's NPR Political Junkie. I heard a blurb of a trivia question on this show just before I went to get lunch, back on Wednesday in Duluth. The question was "when did we come close to getting our first African American First Lady"? I have searched for the answer all over the web and haven't been able o find an answer, so I'm listening to the show waiting for an answer. And the answer is Teressa Hines Kerry. Boy what a let down down that answer is.

4:07 pm - I finally got off my butt and did something around here. I made a meet sauce for dinner, got some books ready to ship and combed a knot out of Gr's fur. I know that I'm dealing with a bout of depression. Course knowing it doesn't make being in the middle of it any easier.

10:07 - Just finished watching the first show of a new season of Big Love on HBO. I really like this show. I've got to grab a shower, because I wont have time in the morning before I take Little E to work again. I'm just moving forward.

Miserable Feeling All Day

8:19 am - I just heard that Obama will be taking a train into Washington for the inauguration. He'll be taking the same route Abraham Lincoln took, except Lincoln snuck into town because of an assassination threat. I wonder if Lincoln could have ever thought that 148 years latter an African American man would become President in an America were he didn't have to sneak into Washington.

8:55 am - I feel like crying. I made it real clear to Big E that I wanted to enjoy a day of doing nothing, have no one bugging me. I'd do the laundry and make dinner, but that was it. Well I don't know who I was talking to, because it must not have been Big E. He showed up asking me to fix breakfast, to help him with his hot tub, oh would you get this, you don't mind if I use the quilt off your bed to pack around the hose, etc. The worse part is that if I point this out to him, that once again he is just pointing out to me how little I matter in this world, I'm the bitch.

3:51 pm - I've been miserable all day. I have no reason in life and if I found one Big E would only let me have it, if it worked for him. I hate what I have let my life become. Somewhere over the years I have traded me for...well I'm not sure what I traded me for, but I know I'm lost. How do I get me back.

6:42 pm - How sad is that the high point of my day will be slipping in between nice clean sheet on a freshly made bed tonight. Of course Gr gets to use it first.

9:28 pm - So Little E hasn't come home yet and hadn't bothered to call. I broke down and called his cell to see if he was coming home tonight, to find he is at the Bennington Bowling Lanes. I don't know how I did it, but with that one I raised an un-grateful child, who now that I think about it acts way to much like his father. To top off this wonderful day, I am getting a cold sore. Please tell me that tomorrow will be a nicer day.

Home and Two Days

Yesterday January 15, 2009

5:21 am - I was out of bed and in the car to the airport in under fifteen minutes this morning. At the airport in Duluth and ready to fly home. [I'd still rather be going to Ely.] This is a funny airport, where there isn't much need to rush getting there. You don't go through security until just before boarding the plane. So there is never any reason to rush. It is cold enough here that they called off school. Not a snow day, but a cold day. It is cold enough that are discussing is it is to cold to de-ice the plane.

9:49 am - I had a really short wait in Detroit this morning. Now I'm sitting in first class for the flight into Albany. This has been a pleasant and, after the stress of driving last week, pleasant trip. I have to say this is the only way to travel [at least at this time of year]. Now all I have to worry about is getting out of Albany / Troy and if my truck will start will start after sitting a week at the airport. Wish I could say I'll be glad to be home. I will be glad to see Gr.

11:37 am - We were just told by the pilot that there is a plane with a problem on the runway in Albany. It has the airport temporally closed. If things down there don't change before we get there our plane will be diverted to Hartford. I've never had a plane get diverted before. This will be interesting. OK not Hartford, but Syracuse. Where we will be stuck for at least an hour to get re-fueled and wait for Albany to clear. I'm told we will not get off the plane.

Today January 16, 2009

9:39 am - I just couldn't get enough energy last night to make a post. I don't know why, but I was really dragging. Sunny and beautiful here this morning. Gr was glad to see me, but he was looking for Map. [I'm sorry Gr] I guess I have to get my act together and go to the office. Oh joy.

3:32 pm - Big E is trying to get his hot tub hooked up. I could care less, the thing just means work for me. S P stopped by to hang out with Little E.

10:28 pm - I'm watching Sex in the Civil War. Little E came down stairs to roll his eyes at me, and say Oh of course you'd find something about the Civil War. What can I say I love history. Big E finally gave up the couch and went to bed. I can't say that I amounted to much today.

Cold

9:05 am - -38 out here this morning. I'm nervous about the rental car starting, so I can get to Duluth tonight. The guy came to read the water meeter a few minutes ago and Map went off. I think she learned some bad behavior while she was home with Gr. C just got up and I told him to maybe go start his truck and get it warmed up.

1:37 pm - It was a clear ride down to the city, just a small snow shower in Virginia. I am already missing C, Map, and Ely. It is always so hard to leave. Some day I'm not going to leave. Since I'm town and can't check into the hotel until after three , I'm grabbing lunch at the Olive Garden.

3:31 pm - I got rid of the worst rental car I've ever driven. The tires had no traction at all. The hotel came to get me at the airport, so now I'm in my room, comfortable and warm. I printed my flight ticket [I got an up-grade to first class on one leg] for the morning. So that's it I can just relax the rest of the day. Except I'd still like to be back with C. I really don't want to go home.

Getting a Couple of Things Off My Chest

9:32 am - The dogs are driving me nuts this morning. They keep jumping up a running out the door barking at something, but I don't see anything. I don't think they do either. Gr and I are really ready for Map to go home. At least the guys should be having a good day ice fishing. It is beautiful and sunny.

12:06 pm - I've spent the morning in the the office. I hate being only able to pay off half the bills, playing the pick and choose game of which bill to pay; trying to make money stretch. Then the guys are bugging me, the couple who we still have working. They aren't doing what Big E asks them to, and are just costing us money. I'm going to tell them not to come in tomorrow.

12:59 pm - There's a new menu at Friendly's. It looks bigger, but I think it's just the same stuff with a new layout.

6:21 pm - I still haven't heard anything from Big E and the boys. I'm guessing they had a good day fishing. I don't know if they'll be home tonight or not though. Good thing I went for frozen pizza for dinner. You know all three of them have cell phones, but it's way to much for me expect a call. I've been looking at the painting Big E's sister did of him and his bear as a Christmas gift. We're going to be hanging it over the bar in the kitchen. The thing is ugly, but Big E loves it so I'm stuck with the thing.

10:30 pm - It's starting to snow [beginning of a big storm]. They guys made it home, C caught a fish. That's pretty much all the info I got out of them before Little E went to bed, Big E fell asleep on the couch, and C went into the shower. No body talks to me around here.

Some One Gets Breakfast In Bed

8:57 am - We are getting snowed on pretty heavily. I wouldn't say that Gr is spoiled or anything, but he had breakfast in bed this morning. Since Map is here and she eats like most hounds, where as Gr like to eat slow [sometimes taking a bit and than going off, coming back an hour latter for another bit], we feed them separately. So today Gr got to eat in bed.

10:29 pm - I'm home dog setting again. The boys are having a party over at hunting camp. Big E has called it a night and gone to bed. I'm giving a shot at staying up until the New Year. Can anyone out there say, "God girl your old".