What Do I Do All Day

12:07 pm - In the office all morning. I feel like such a waist working here. Off to Manchester to make a deposit.

2:29 pm - I had lunch at Mulligan's, couldn't get by today without their nachos. Than before I did all the other running around [bank, post office, Rite-Aid], I took Gr for a walk at the Rec Park. It was good one with Gr making a friend and behaving beyond my expectations. It was perhaps the only thing in my life I have control over right now. I can go for a walk every day, I can maybe get that part of my life back.

4:43 pm - No one knows just what I do all day long. I'm one of those people in the back ground, juggling all the balls so that everyone else can relax and enjoy the show. I return the phone calls, do the paper work, remind Big E to take care of his promises to clients, do the banking, sell our product, handle the employees, keep everything at the house running from laundry to dinner [although the damn pellet stove isn't working again], today I even had to clean the office toilet, playing plumber when it got stopped up. And yet it doesn't feel to me most days like I have a real job, and don't think many people see me as having a job or even working. I guess that means I'm really good at what I do.

Guys Are Home

7:44 am - I didn't sleep all that great last night. Gr has become a bed hog. When we first got him he didn't sleep in bed, but sometime during the months I was traveling to MN, Big E must have talked him into it. Now I have a dog who thinks he should have the bed.

10:26 am - I was just watching Sunday Morning on CBS. They did a peace on a restaurant called the Heart Attack Grill. This place is a must do before you die [course eating here could cause that to happen faster]. It definitely looks like C's kind of place.

2:06 pm - There the shopping is done for the week. The kitchens clean and everything is put away. The guy are watching the Dolphin's game. Now I start working on dinner.

Snow, Football, an Cat Dancing

7:28 am - Sometime last night after dark it snowed. We got up to this morning to a dusting on the ground.

4:14 pm - Well I went with Mother to Manchester where I helped her buy the new appliances at Brook Valley. Than I left Gr with her and went to Pittsfield to pick up some Christmas decorating things. Now it's just really good to be home curled up on the couch. Peace and quite. I'm going to do some work on Photo Shop, write a little, and relax, on my last night of being home alone.

7:07 pm - I just realized today is when C should have been playing in a bowl game. Had the Ironmen scored in those last two minutes two weeks ago in St Cloud, today they would have been playing one more football game. Oh well as sad as it still makes me feel, would a, should a, could a, but didn't.

8:05 pm - I just found a really good movie on the Western channel
. I think is is some of Burt Reynolds finest work in his early years.

I Love the Damn Pellet Stove

9:36 am - The damn pellet stove isn't working again this morning. I love the stove when it's running, because it's so much cleaner and easier than a wood stove, but when it stops running there isn't much you can do. Turn it off, wait, turn it on and hope. Than if it doesn't work call the guy and pay. The stove is supposed to save money, but I've forked out $150 in service calls already this year.

12:32 pm - I did the good daughter thing and took Mother to Home Depot to look at a stove and refrigerator she is thinking about buying. We picked out a stove, but than she decided she didn't like any of their fridges. So I guess I'll be making another trip. Than she wanted to go to the Christmas Tree farm to pick up bows to make wreathes, but they weren't open. I got the lawn picked up, and the bunnies moved back to their winter home. So the rest of the day will be spent doing paper work.

6:01 pm - I just finished listing some items for sale on EBay and Photosmart A826 Home Photo Center
Amazon. I figure I can clean something up, get them out of the house, and make a little money while I'm at it.

Big Bad Black Bear

7:23 am - I didn't write yesterday because I spent the day with Mother. We got up at 5:45 and Gr and I picked up Mother and drove up to the P & H Truck Stop for breakfast [they have the best cinnamon raisin toast in the world]. Than we went back to our Lake Camp so I could see what kind of mess they left me when it was closed up [I'm going to have a lot of work this Spring]. After that I took Mother shopping. We didn't get home until seven. I just wanted to go to bed. It was a tiring day.

12:05 pm - I feel like I'm spinning my wheels and going no where today. All I've done in the office this morning is make phone calls and try to set up advertising. I'm working but it sure doesn't look like I'm getting anything done and it doesn't feel like it either. Good new for me; my lost book weight has been found. I guess I must have left it at Friendly's last time I ate there. OK so lunch, a walk, and back to work.

2:26 pm - I ran into B L. I shouldn't say anything like this, but God she's really looking old. OK back to work.

3:52 pm - Big E and Little E just showed up at the office. Big E shot a black bear today up in Minerva,NY. They brought it back to the shop to hang and to get me to take picture of it. I asked Big E why he killed it and he said the bear was coming at him growling. I suppose that means we'll have another mount hanging in the living room [perhaps I should have one the mice I've killed recently stuffed, and mounted on the wall]. It's nice looking animal and is about 200 lb.

8:34 pm - So everyone is home tonight. What a joy, Gr and I had to give up our couch, because Big E can't share. I always have a hard time getting used to having to share the house [and my life], when the guys come home from camp. I know I'm not supposed to feel this way, but hay I like to be alone. However that being said I like having the guys around to.

Making Plans, Good For Your Mental Health

7:48 am - I forgot to close the dog door when I went to bed last night, so Gr woke me up at one-thirty, when he went out the look things over in the bright moon light. I got him back in, closed his door and went back to bed. Than Little E had me up at four when he left to go back to camp. I went back to sleep. Than Big E came home at six-twenty to shower before his meeting. I gave up at the point and just got up for the day. Hey at least it's going to be a bright sunny cold day.

11:51 am - I feel much better now that I'm making plans for a Christmas shopping trip. It's something [maybe the only thing] I have control over. Something to look forward to. Now if I can just make myself stop worrying about money and the business, I might enjoy myself and start to feel like the Spirit of Christmas is with me.

7:20 pm - There my trip for Christmas shopping is set and planned. Now I feel like I can move on with things. I needed to have something to look forward to, a plan. It took me almost three hours to book a flight and four hotels to cover this seven day trip. Let the shopping begin.

9:40 - Little E came home again tonight. He says that he hit a deer on his way to camp this morning with the Toyota. I hate to admit it but I've gotten used to having him around in the evenings.

Wo Its Snow

12:24 pm - It's snowing!! I meet Cy at the office and got her to clean up a few book keeping things that I wasn't sure how to post taxes. I'm grabbing lunch at Friendly's before I head out to run errands, than back to the office for a couple more hours. Not to say that I have a sad little life, but the high light of this day will be that Friendly's has brought back their Peppermint Stick ice cream for the Christmas season.

3:41 pm - I finished up the running around. Than I took Gr for a walk at the Manchester Rec Park. He is like a little kid going to a candy shop, when he knows there is about to be a walk. Big E called me to check in from hunting camp. They've gotten five deer so far, not bad for the first weekend.

9:46 pm - Little E was home doing a paper when I got home tonight. He's going back into camp in the morning. I think I've finally figured out what has been causing the slump in my mood over the last few weeks. I've lost the routine of my life. I think what I need to, do even if I hate the thought of leaving Gr again for a few days this soon; I really need to plan for a Christmas shopping trip. Every year for the last six years I go to Maine for a week and wrap up my shopping, I need to do this, this year. I need my routine, my habits that put an order into my life. I need to feel like I have some kind of control over my life. Right now I just seem to be drifting.