Miserable Feeling All Day

8:19 am - I just heard that Obama will be taking a train into Washington for the inauguration. He'll be taking the same route Abraham Lincoln took, except Lincoln snuck into town because of an assassination threat. I wonder if Lincoln could have ever thought that 148 years latter an African American man would become President in an America were he didn't have to sneak into Washington.

8:55 am - I feel like crying. I made it real clear to Big E that I wanted to enjoy a day of doing nothing, have no one bugging me. I'd do the laundry and make dinner, but that was it. Well I don't know who I was talking to, because it must not have been Big E. He showed up asking me to fix breakfast, to help him with his hot tub, oh would you get this, you don't mind if I use the quilt off your bed to pack around the hose, etc. The worse part is that if I point this out to him, that once again he is just pointing out to me how little I matter in this world, I'm the bitch.

3:51 pm - I've been miserable all day. I have no reason in life and if I found one Big E would only let me have it, if it worked for him. I hate what I have let my life become. Somewhere over the years I have traded me for...well I'm not sure what I traded me for, but I know I'm lost. How do I get me back.

6:42 pm - How sad is that the high point of my day will be slipping in between nice clean sheet on a freshly made bed tonight. Of course Gr gets to use it first.

9:28 pm - So Little E hasn't come home yet and hadn't bothered to call. I broke down and called his cell to see if he was coming home tonight, to find he is at the Bennington Bowling Lanes. I don't know how I did it, but with that one I raised an un-grateful child, who now that I think about it acts way to much like his father. To top off this wonderful day, I am getting a cold sore. Please tell me that tomorrow will be a nicer day.

Home and Two Days

Yesterday January 15, 2009

5:21 am - I was out of bed and in the car to the airport in under fifteen minutes this morning. At the airport in Duluth and ready to fly home. [I'd still rather be going to Ely.] This is a funny airport, where there isn't much need to rush getting there. You don't go through security until just before boarding the plane. So there is never any reason to rush. It is cold enough here that they called off school. Not a snow day, but a cold day. It is cold enough that are discussing is it is to cold to de-ice the plane.

9:49 am - I had a really short wait in Detroit this morning. Now I'm sitting in first class for the flight into Albany. This has been a pleasant and, after the stress of driving last week, pleasant trip. I have to say this is the only way to travel [at least at this time of year]. Now all I have to worry about is getting out of Albany / Troy and if my truck will start will start after sitting a week at the airport. Wish I could say I'll be glad to be home. I will be glad to see Gr.

11:37 am - We were just told by the pilot that there is a plane with a problem on the runway in Albany. It has the airport temporally closed. If things down there don't change before we get there our plane will be diverted to Hartford. I've never had a plane get diverted before. This will be interesting. OK not Hartford, but Syracuse. Where we will be stuck for at least an hour to get re-fueled and wait for Albany to clear. I'm told we will not get off the plane.

Today January 16, 2009

9:39 am - I just couldn't get enough energy last night to make a post. I don't know why, but I was really dragging. Sunny and beautiful here this morning. Gr was glad to see me, but he was looking for Map. [I'm sorry Gr] I guess I have to get my act together and go to the office. Oh joy.

3:32 pm - Big E is trying to get his hot tub hooked up. I could care less, the thing just means work for me. S P stopped by to hang out with Little E.

10:28 pm - I'm watching Sex in the Civil War. Little E came down stairs to roll his eyes at me, and say Oh of course you'd find something about the Civil War. What can I say I love history. Big E finally gave up the couch and went to bed. I can't say that I amounted to much today.