My Life In A Nut Shell

Rain Rain Go Away

2009-06-30T21:06:00.001-04:00

Remember that child’s rhyme, “Rain, rain go away come again another day”. Well here in Vermont it has gotten to be much more then a child’s rhyme, it has become an anthem. We are working on 21 days of rain in the last 23 days. There doesn’t look to be an end in sight either. Right now we are riding out yet another thunderstorm. The interesting thing about all this rain is that it is still not our wettest June on record.

The average rain fall in Vermont in June is 3.75 inches. So far without today’s totals we have gotten about 4.77 inches [in Burlington]. Compared that to 1922 when we got 9.92 inches in the month. Heck the most rain fall for a single day was 4.45 inches back on June 14th 1942. Still though I am so through with all this rain, it makes it hard to get the laundry dry.

My poor Gr hasn’t been happy in days, as he is afraid of thunderstorms. The funny thing is that Map isn’t afraid of thunderstorms, and she can’t figure out what is wrong with Gr. I was rather hoping that having her here playing and bugging him might help him forget about his fear. No luck so far.

Getting Caught Back Up

2009-06-06T21:41:00.006-04:00

1 June 2009 - Monday
I spent about an hour this afternoon lying on my belly on a dock. My head hanging over the side at a comfortable angel. I peered through clear to the shallow bottom of the pond. It was there that I found myself transfixed by watching the fry flitting this way and that, the whole group turning on a dime. I don’t know what kind of fish they are, my oldest son could tell me, he is college to learn such things.

These tiny fish, just hatched within the last few days, already have their own little world with rules, and I think a ruler. I watched them long enough to see that three fish in this group were larger than the rest, and the other fish seemed to do what ever and go where ever these three fish went. They bumped and fed there way back and forth under the dock, scattering when my dog splashed through, but re-congregating within minutes.

These tiny baby fish would flash silver when the sun light caught them just right. They were however, on close expectation clear; I could see right through their tiny bodies and see the bone and insides clearly. I could help be wonder as I watched these wonderful creatures, and couldn’t help but wonder how many would live to be full sized fish. Would the three leaders someday be caught and weighed and measured as some trophies.

2 June 2009 - Tuesday
Gr and I drove over to Sugar Hill in NH today so that I could take picture of the Lupine. That whole fields of that lovely flower, and arrange a festival around them every year. The festival isn’t until this coming weekend, but I thought I could get in some shots early. No such luck. The flowers are dismal this year. If it hadn’t been for the young moose we saw by the road the trip would have been a waste. The moose seemed to know that he was about to be photographed and paid no attention to Gr who was barking loudly. So I got a couple of nice shots, before we traveled on.

We found a new favorite ice cream place up here. Out on Route 302 just north of Woodsville is a little yellow building with wonderful home made ice-cream. It will long be Gr’s favorite as they give good doggy’s free scoops of vanilla. You could your whole lunch there for $4.50 [a hotdog, soda, and small ice-cream cone].

Returning to camp found leaning out over the boat rescuing a swallowtail butterfly from the pond. After giving it time to dry it wings and rest, this creature rewarded me offering up some lovely shots of it on the lilac tree in the yard. I than retreated to the porch swing and read the afternoon away, just as you are supposed to do when at camp.

Friday 5 June 2009
The big worry in my life these last couple of days has been my truck. I don’t know how you feel but my world revolves around my truck. For some reason all of the dummy lights keep coming on from time to time. It doesn’t seem to effect how the truck runs, but it freaks me out. I got up early this morning and took the truck over to Carmody’s for a scheduled service and to see if they could figure out what is going on. I’m still in the dark. The service tech put my truck on their computer, but nothing showed up. So I am still driving it around with my fingers crossed. I just hope that if anything major goes wrong, it won’t happen in a place that causes any trouble.

Where Were These Buyers Hiding

2009-05-02T22:12:00.003-04:00

It was along day spent in the office. Big called me this morning at six and wanted to know how soon I could be up there. That took care of any dreamy idea I was having about sleeping in. I think I got everything done for the week, or at least everything Big had thought of up that point. I know he'll have me back in there a few more times this week. While I was up at the shop today, we sold about $4,000 worth of stone, and I sold Big's trailer after he went home. So all in all it was a very good day.

Little still isn't home and I don't have much hope that he'll be here any time soon. Today was his softball tournament down in Pownal. I'm guessing that he is enjoying a little part with other drinkers. At least I don't have to worry about him driving. I just think it's to bad that he couldn't take Whit to her prom tonight.

So we sold the house yesterday, and today I have gotten two phone calls from people desperate to offer me more money. Where were these people before. I suppose we could still take other offers since no money has changed hands yet, but doesn't seem very honest to me.

I took advantage of having a empty house tonight to finish reading. And I made dinner of a bowl of popcorn and half a pint of Ben and Jerry's. This is my idea of a vacation.

I Think Its Finally Gone

2009-05-01T20:29:00.002-04:00

I had planned to be up to Lake Camp tonight, but things very rarely go as planed. I had way more paper work to get done in the office than I had planned, and than there was personal paper work also. So anyhow I'm home alone tonight, while Big is over Hunting Camp with guys for turkey hunting, and Little is with his girlfriend in Manchester.

It would appear that we have finally sold the house in Manchester. We aren't getting as much money for it as Big had hoped, I'm just glad that it will be gone, and I will have one less payment every month.

Whoot Whoot

2009-04-27T22:34:00.001-04:00

It was a nice bright sunny day. This heat though is a killer. It really shouldn’t be in the eighties this time of year. I’ll be glad when it breaks.

I needed to be in Manchester this afternoon to make a deposit for the business, so I caught lunch at Zoey’s Double Hex. I haven’t been up there in months. It was good to be out of the office for a couple of hours. I wouldn’t mind the paper work nearly as much if we had the money coming in to pay the bills. I was late getting to the Post Office tonight, didn’t know they closed at 4:30. Hopefully my dropping a couple of books into the mail slot won’t be a problem.

Since I didn’t get out of the office until after five, we did dinner out of Paulin’s. I had a really good salad. We had an owl out in the yard tonight making a lot of noise, and getting Gr worked up. Little came down and called to it, and got the owl to call back to him. Kind of cool.

Clean The Kitchen

2009-04-25T21:22:00.001-04:00

I slept in this morning, and it felt great. There is nothing like your own bed, especially when you’ve been traveling a lot. I cleaned the kitchen. It really needed it. It’s still not cleaned like it should be, I need to get some glass wax to polish the counter top, and I should really go through all my cupboards. At least when I got home with the groceries today, I had some place to put them. Believe it or not I took two big trash bags out to the dumpster just form the kitchen.

I found out that frogs make a funny hissing noise when being bothered. Gr found one in a cooler top by the corner of the house this afternoon, and was cuffing it, when the frog started to hiss at him. It’s a really strange kind of loud noise. The hissing noise however, didn’t seem to faze Gr any.

Big came home early tonight and we had a nice steak dinner. Since Little is out for the weekend with his new girlfriend Wh, I splurged on a pricey cut of prime rib. It was wonderful. Now if the stupid baseball game would just get over, so we can watch something on TV. I hate professional baseball only slightly less than basketball. Yuck.

Ready To Go Home

2009-04-23T20:08:00.003-04:00

Beautiful morning, but I’ve got a headache. That makes me sad when I’m in my favorite place in the whole world. Having said that I can’t believe how ready I am to be going home after just one day here. Perhaps I feel this way because I know I’ll be back in just a few weeks.

I decide to look at the battle from the Confederate side of things today. I walked Confederate Ave all the way back to the Seminary. It was a nice walk, and reminded me about that part of the field, which I haven’t been on during my last few trips here. If it had been drier, I would have walked the one mile Pickett’s charge area. Maybe next time I’m here with C and Map.

I finally got my Rita’s. When I walked back into town I went a got a small cotton candy flavored Italian Ice. There is nothing like Rita’s for intense flavor. Than I broke down and bought a new sweatshirt. I’ve wanted one with Gettysburg on it for a while, and since I really do need a new sweatshirt this was the time. Plus I got the ugliest tie-dyed brown, pick and green one you’ve ever seen. I just love it.

This evening walking back to the hotel, I cut through the National Cemetery and found that someone had placed American flags on the grave of the New York soldiers‘. It is an amazing sight. I would have taken a photo, but just couldn’t do justice to the seen. I found it moving.

Ok so I’m really ready to be home. Think I’m going to get on the road here at about five am. No one at home knows I’m coming tomorrow. I miss Gr.

School Trips and Redbuds

2009-04-22T22:14:00.003-04:00

Woke up this morning in Gettysburg. It was cool, over cast, and the field was covered with Redbud. I saw a whole lot of cardinals, a bunny and lot of noisy school groups.

First thing, I walked down to the new visitor’s center, where I was looking for several books for research on my writing. After that I headed off again on foot too Culp’s Hill. I wanted to take some photos and get a closer feeling to the 123rd NY, as they are a part of my new work. After taking a few photos, I walked out Confederate Ave, back toward town. I was surprised to find the GAR post, on one of the side streets off of Baltimore. I just walked onto a cannon, and there was a great building. I went to the Gettysburg town library, to check out the book sale, but nothing good there this time.

The town is really quite today. Since my appetite seems to have finally come back, I found my way to lunch at O’Rorke’s. I just love their pretzel roll sandwiches.

It is trying to rain, really big drops. I’m going to shop, or at least look around the shops. I would really like to find a new sweatshirt; my VT one is just about had it. I think if I get one I’m going to have to pay $28, since that’s the lowest priced one I’ve found.

I need to start a spread sheet for my Civil War work. So much information, so little time to share it.

The rain s back. So, I went to the Visitor’s center and bought those books. and a CD that I wanted for C and me to listen to on the way home from his place next month. Than I found I was so hungry that I just had to eat [first time I’ve felt that way in about week]. Thing is I was to tired to drive anywhere safely, and my body is too achy to walk very far, so it’s going be have to be Friendly’s. Than I think I’m going to take a hot tub and call it a night.

On The Road To Ohio

2009-04-19T20:28:00.000-04:00

I got on the road at 5:15 this morning. I picked up a rental car at the Albany Airport, cause I really didn’t want to drive my big truck all over Ohio. Just before Buffalo, NY I saw a big fluke of wild turkeys. There were three big old Tom’s all fluffed up and strutting. That and one golden Retriever in the back of a green jeep that I passed just after going into PA, that all you could see was this big tail going back and forth. Other that those two things it was a pretty boring drive. Tonight I am staying about twenty minutes from the Canton OH airport where I will pick C up in the morning.

Stomach All Tied Up

2009-04-18T20:17:00.002-04:00

I’m so sick of the news. Even if the new is good, before they are done with the report, they spin everything out to be bad. Today is going to be a long one. I guess I’m back on with the college trip on Monday and Tuesday with C. He dropped that class Thursday, and I know that that killed him. So I’ve got just today to get things clean up around here. And, as usual it seems that everyone want a part of my time.

I’m having a really hard time with this trip. I’ve been dealing with a huge knot in my stomach for days. I have feeling of dread, that something somewhere in my life isn’t running right. I am not even looking forward to any part of the trip. I have been on the edge of tears for days now as well. I get don’t get it, it’s not like me.

Big still isn’t home. He had a guy come down from Burlington to fix the starter on the Skid Steer. They are still working on it. I guess I was lucky I saw him at the shop this morning. If I had known he was going to be this late, I would have gone back up to the shop. So anyway I’m home alone. Little is out with his girl friend Whit. C just called me to let me know he got a letter for us [as in his parents] from Bethany. It calmed me talk to him.

Stressful Day

2009-04-16T21:59:00.005-04:00

We went to Rupert last night for Big’s Uncle June’s memorial service. It wasn’t overly sad, and in some way it was hard to remember that he had died. This was really more of family get together. We all had plenty of time to get used to the idea that he was going. It was while I was sitting listening to the minister drone on about a man she obviously didn’t know, that I realized I am the keeper of the family stories. There is one in every family, in my case I’m the keeper of my hubby’s family as well as my own. We aren’t the people who tell the stories necessarily, but we are the ones who start the stories, so everyone else will remember. I don’t know how I became this person for Big’s family, but I know that I inherited it from my Mother’s Father and my Dad’s foster Mother. I wonder who will take over for me.

We have a very annoying wood pecker in the yard this morning. He is hammering on the metal roofing on the barn. It is really loud. Actually all the birds are stupid acting today. Do you remember the Disney movie well everyone is twitter-pated.

Just got a call from C. His English teacher just told him that she didn’t think she could give him a passing grade, so he should drop the class. This suck so big. He has been caring a good solid “B” with his in class work, but she doesn’t like his writing pieces. He’s just been accepted to two colleges and if he gets a bad grade they won’t take him. I think he is going to have to drop the class and take it again latter. I feel like I’ve been kicked in the gut, I can’t even imagine what C is feeling like.

I got through the stress, I think. Ed met at the office, but he didn't do any office work because the poker players showed up. It was alright with me, because I had enough for the day.

College Tour

2009-03-14T22:51:00.003-04:00

12:09 pm - C and I are watching the old movieNorth to Alaska, withJohn Wayne. It's a nice way to spend a Saturday. Thursday he and I drove down to Morris MN to look at the college. Since its about a seven hour drive down there from Ely, we went the night before and stayed at the Prairie Inn. One of the football coaches took us out to dinner at a pizza joint. The next morning we drove to the school and took the grand tour, we had lunch with the coaches, more meetings. than we drove home. We got home last night about ten. Today we are working on college applications, and just chilling out.

4:35 pm - Just finished another college application with C. We are trying to remember all the extra activities he did in high school and it was a lot harder than I thought. He did a lot of stuff.

10:00 pm - we just finished watching Will Ferrell's take on George Bush. That was a waist of an hour and half, I'll never get back. I really though the show would be funny, but not. I took Map out for a nice walk around town this evening just before dark. It is really warm out here.

Clean Up From Snow & College Ap's

2009-03-11T21:42:00.004-04:00

11:33 am - I just woke C up so he could watch a dog sled race that he helped out with here in Ely on TV. We've got to clean up from yesterdays snow fall. C might even have to get out his snow blower for the front walk. Big got home from FL last night. I talked to him for about 15 minutes and I'm already feeling depressed about the business. It makes me want to stay out here even more.

5:11 pm - We spent the afternoon working on C's college applications. We made an appointment with the football coach at U of MN for tomorrow night, so we will be driving down tomorrow and spending the night. I've pretty much decided that I'm going to stay out here longer, trying to get all the paper work completed.

8:50 pm - C and I have had a great day, talking about all sort of things, you'd never guess a twenty year old son and his mother would talk about. I really love hanging out with C. Map was going crazy around here until just a little while ago, when she finally crashed on the couch. She has issues with C and I sitting together on couch when we were working on the applications.

Ely Snow

2009-03-10T21:37:00.003-04:00

Yesterday March 9
11:15 am - It's a gray morning with C still in bed and Map chilling out with me on the couch. I'm thinking about staying out here with C longer. I've got to figure out how to get him into his next college and I don't think I can do it in one week.

Today March 10
11:38 am - The snow has just started and the wind is up, but we are still waiting for the predicted storm to get here. Map and I just got back in from a walk around the block. I had to get her out of the house.

3:53 pm - The snow has finally got here, but so far no real wind to speak of yet. We just ate our dinner. Neither C or I have gotten dressed today. This is my idea of a perfect vacation.

8:44 pm - It is really coming down out there. I love it. I really should take Map and go for a walk around the town, but I don't think I'm going to make it. Right now I thinking about popcorn and a movie.

Nice Weekend in MN

2009-03-08T21:58:00.003-04:00

12:23 pm - I took Map for a walk around Miner's Lake yesterday, which was great until the heal pain came back last night. I've decided that somehow the stretching I've been doing over the last couple of weeks is helping that pain. So I went back to stretching this morning. Now we'll see. C just got up. He's taking advantage of having me here to take care of the dog.

9:02 pm - C and just finished watchingBig Love I didn't know he was fan of the show. Map has decided tonight that she is going to bond with me. She's been in my lap all evening. Its been a nice weekend, I love hang out with C.

Badly Run Flights

2009-03-05T23:04:00.003-05:00

10:12 am - I've got to get going and get my things packed. I've got two hours to clean out my truck, pack, and kill time. Isn't it funny that I can't wait to get out of the house and see C, but I don't really want to go. I love being home when Big is away and I hate leaving Gr, who is already looking sad.

1:41 pm - I'm at the airport in Albany. I've seen it so busy here. i had to park in the over flow's over flow parking lot, and it took me over twenty minutes to get through security. That's crazy for this airport. Now I can just relax, read, and do some writing. [I've developed an idea for telling the Reynolds story.]

5:34 pm - I'm in the air finally. I don't think I've ever seen a worse job done in loading a plane. Then when they got us on the plane, we were told that do to traffic we couldn't take off. So I'm guessing my once plenty of time between flights is now going to be a tight connection.

7:22 pm - I made it to the plane for Duluth with about five minutes to spare. I love how when they open the door of the plane we all push our way out and run up the shoot like cattle.

10:17 - I have found myself in my favorite hotel, with my rental car, and finally relaxed after a long day. I'm eating a pizza, since I didn't get any dinner. Tomorrow I will head up to C's place, tonight and the morning I sleep in.

New Tiny Laptop

2009-03-03T22:28:00.003-05:00

9:41 am - My laptop definitely went south last night. I've had it for seven years. So I guess I'm going to bite the bullet and buy a new one today. I'm off to Staples to see what I can find.

4:39 pm - So I bought this tiny computer, that weighs in at less than a pound and a half. I knew I wanted something small for traveling in the airport and this is it. Little just let me know that I've got to go to Bellows Falls to pick up his friend Em, so I've got to get some home paper work done tonight.

10:32 pm - I'm still trying to figure everything out on this new computer. Is a little tight and I keep hitting the wrong keys, but I think that will get better. It's going to be a full day tomorrow, so I think I'll call it a night.

Snow On The Screen

2009-03-02T21:56:00.003-05:00

10:05 am - My life has been so dull lately that I couldn't even think of anything to write about. At least today I can report that were getting some snow. Big left yesterday for a week long trip to play golf in Florida with some of the guys. So things are relaxed around here.

3:38 pm - It's still snowing and the wind has kicked up. I got payroll done and few other office things taken care of. Now I wont have to go back to the office until Wednesday.

10:02 pm - Damn my lap top crashed tonight. I guess it's time to buy a new one, I really didn't want to. Worse thing is it ate up my photo of the snow today. On the good side "Saving Grace" is back on tonight. C called so I know he's alright, and Little and I manged a whole evening on the couch together. Life goes on [well maybe not for my computer].

Office

2009-02-27T21:07:00.002-05:00

9:08 pm it is raining had tonight, and that means ice every where in the morning. I spent a long day in the office, with bills, forms, meeting, web calls, and dead line mailings. At least the day went by fast. Just found out that Big is going to FL three day earlier than we thought, so he's out of here on Sunday. That will be a nice break for Little and I.

Cracks

2009-02-24T21:12:00.002-05:00

12:28 pm - Big is going into a melt down and I'm left with nothing but to clean up after him and hope. I know he has something going on, his health, the business, but he wont let me in. On the other hand being shut out leaves me hanging out on the end of a limb, even more alone than ever. All I can think of is the poster of the little kitten hanging from a branch with the words "Hang in there Baby". Only I would add a little balloon over the kitten's head with "Anyone got some supper glue". I know my world is falling a part, I just can't find the cracks.

Worry

2009-02-23T22:52:00.002-05:00

11:54 am - I dropped Gr off at PetSmart for a grooming. He really didn't want to go in. First time I've ever heard him whine. Now while I'm waiting to pick him up, I'm hitting the stores to pick up a few things before heading back to the office.

10:53 pm - I'm worried about Big. Something is going on with him that I just can't figure out. I think he is sick, but he wont let anyone help. I admit to praying every night that he will still be here in the morning. Shouldn't be feeling this way.

Catching Up Again

2009-02-22T20:38:00.003-05:00

Yesterday February 21 2009
12:10 pm - I had to pick up a few things at the grocery store and grab some lunch. I got to experience a badly behaved parent at the Salvation Army. You know the ones whose children are running wild and the parent response is to issue empty threats. In this case two boys who had found a couple of swords which they wanted to buy, and were running around the store with them bumping into things and people. Mom's response was to repeatedly threaten not to buy the swords, if they didn't stop running around. The boys didn't and she still bought the swords. Clear case of a badly behaved parent.

6:23 pm - Another quite day. Gr and I took a walk around the Arlington Rec Park [not enough snow up there to snow shoe on]. Than we came home and took a nap. Now I'm enjoying watching the classic "Steel Magnolias" and when the adds are on "Walk The Line".

February 22, 2009
8:45 pm - It is snowing hard tonight. Going to be very pretty in the morning. Little and Big are home from ice fishing. I've spent the day dreaming of being in Ely with C and Map. Its been a pleasant weekend for me, if only there were more like them.

Grown Up Snow Day

2009-02-20T22:02:00.004-05:00

8:40 am - It is a winter wonderland out there this morning.

11:32 am - It's snowing even harder today. So much for the weathermen getting it right. Big left this morning to go ice fishing for the weekend. It's the Great Benson Ice Fishing Derby. When Little gets done working on the mountain I have to drive him up. I hope it stops snowing before than.

2:59 pm - I should feel guilty for waisting a day, but this felt so good. I didn't get dressed until eleven-thirty, and than only sweats. I ate popcorn for lunch. I've been channel surfing and playing computer solitaire. It has been wonderful. It has been a wonderful mini vacation.

10:07 pm - I just got back from dropping Little off. Thankfully I didn't have to drive him all the way up to Ice Fishing Camp. He is spending the night with SP, and than they will go up in the morning. This was good thing for me, because the road aren't good. Vermont does a cruddy job taking care of our roads. Little and I grabbed dinner at Friendly's in Manchester, where we ran into his old girlfriend JS. They speak to each other, but don't look at each other. Interesting.

Cathing Up

2009-02-18T22:07:00.005-05:00

Yesterday 17 February
8:33 am - Gr and I slept much better last night. Well he slept better, I spent a lot of time trying not to move, because I didn't want to hit his foot. I don't remember how he moved into my bed. Anyhow I need to get going to the eye doctor.

Today 18 February
8:20 am - Mother just called to let me know I should look out the window in the yard. We had three deer out under the hemlock tree eating seeds from the cones. While my darling dog Gr slept away the morning in a chair. The deer look good, still very healthy.

2:48 pm - I've been plucking my way through my to do list. Most importantly I got Gr licenced for another year. I even dug out my St Patrick Day decorations. OK so what I'm really doing is killing time, putting off paying bills. My net chore. Oh and the snow has finally arrived.

8:47 pm - Sitting in the truck in Bennington in a snow storm. Little E is on his third class of CRASH. He got picked up at a party, under aged drinking, three weeks before he turned twenty-one. So the State took his driver licence for six months and the completion of this class. It's going to be a bitch of drive home.

10;25 pm - Still snowing hard, and I can tell you that the roads are slippery.

Can't Sleep If Gr Doesn't

2009-02-16T22:22:00.004-05:00

7:10 am - Gr had a bad night, so I had a bad night. It seems that something is bothering his left front paw. The paw isn't bad enough that he is in whining pain, but it's causing him to limp and pace and he wont let me touch it. I've got to try to get him into the vet this morning.

3:48 am - So I took Gr to the vet and he seems to think that Gr has strained one of his toes. The vet says it will be better in a week or so of Gr not running in the crusty snow. The only way that I see that happening is if we go back to Gettysburg, and since that wont be happening, Gr will be limping for a while. He did get his yearly check up and shots while we were there so that's done.

10:28 pm - I just looked at my calendar and realized that I have an eye appointment in the morning. I really don't feel much like going back up to Manchester again this week. I wonder if there is any way I could reschedule. Well anyhow at least it looks like Gr is sleeping tonight, so I am off to [fingers crossed here] a good nights sleep.

Love Hearts Candy Flowers

2009-02-14T22:14:00.006-05:00

9:52 am - Some days it's just not worth trying to write. Yesterday was one of those. We drove home from Gettysburg and didn't get in until after eight last night. The ski traffic coming up through Troy last night was incredible. I really wanted to sleep in, but I had to had to take Little E to work, and than Big E needed something done at the office. I can't begin to tell you how wonderful it felt to get home and take a shower. I'm not planning to get a heck of a lot done today, check my email, do a couple of loads of laundry, and go to Bennington for some groceries. I don't even care about making a fuss about Valentine Day. I am just lying low.

2:27 pm - I had lunch at Pizza Hut and than I went through the depressing shopping trip of Valentine Day. All that red, hearts, candy, and flowers, knowing none of it will be coming my way. And yes I am happily married. I did get Valentine Day gifts for Big and Little. I even made Big E a pie.

5:44 pm - They finally got Big's father tucked into the re-hab in Granville. The crappy doctor's assistance over in Dartmouth scheduled an ambulance, arranged for his release from the hospital, but never bothered to contact the nursing home to see if they had a room. I guess Big's brother GP really went off. Bet they all know they aren't dealing with PP anymore. Sure when Big gets home from visiting I'll get the whole story.

10:25 pm - Big and I had a nice dinner. Little got home sooner than I thought he would, and said that he didn't have to work tomorrow. Big told me hie thinks there is a good chance that he'll be getting a job up on Stratton for this summer. That would make things look so much better. I don't normally take any kind of drugs, but tonight I think I'm going to take something to help me sleep. I really need the rest.

Recommended And Not Recommended

2009-02-12T20:24:00.007-05:00

7:28 am - I took Gr out so he could pee and now he has gone back to bed call cuddled into my spot. It's going to be a lovely day, but wicked windy.

5:03 pm - I went to see the Cyclorama today. This is an extraordinary work of art. I believe this must be what looking at the work of the masters is like. Whether you like history or not, I would say that getting to view this work is a must do in life. Gr and I just got back in from another trip around the field. We covered Culp's Hill and some of the High Water Mark area, all on foot. Which in truth is the only way to see the battlefield; on foot. I think I might have tired Gr out.

8:29 pm - Big E and I went to the Dobbins House for dinner. I just don't get it about this place. This was our second trip, and nether time could I say that we had any kind of meal which would make me want to return, or to recommend the place. For my money I still like the dinner at the Farnsworth House. Anyhow it's going to be an early night for me. Fighting the wind and all that fresh air has made me sleepy. I'm sad to say that this was my last night in Gettysburg. It's been a nice trip.

Walking the Battlefield

2009-02-11T22:03:00.006-05:00

12:20 pm - I spent the morning treading around Culp's Hill. My favorite place on the Gettysburg Battlefield. Big E left us this morning so he could go back to the Sportsmen's Show. So after two and half hours of walking the field we sitting out in a t-shirt at a picnic table writing in beautiful sunny 60+ weather. There isn't any snow down here, so the little wind that is blowing isn't even cold. I couldn't have dreamed a nicer day. Gr and I are going to take a short rest that this afternoon it's off to the Round Tops.

1:49 pm - I've just found that I really like Desperate Housewives

5:09 pm - Gr and I just walked in from Little Round Top. We met a nice talkative guy named Walt between the two Tops. He's a nice gentleman who had retired down here from Long Island. I still can't believe what a beautiful day it is. If it weren't for the pain I've had in my heal since Christmas, this would have been my best day in Gettysburg ever.

10:12 pm - Big E and just got back from the movies. We went to see "New in Town". Cutie movie but I would like this opportunity to apologise to my friends and family in Minnesota.

Ready Set Pack

2009-02-08T20:25:00.004-05:00

2:00 pm - Big E took me out for breakfast this morning. We decided to wait until tomorrow to head to PA. This really works well for me, I've had a lot to get done. We spent a couple of hours at the office. I've got dinner started, the kitchen cleaned up and a load of laundry finished, now I've got to run over to Bennington.

5:48 pm - My God the moon is up and it's huge. I've still got to pack our things, but I got caught up other wise. We're watching a movie about the woman who wrote The Yearling. I so wish I could get myself focused and could work harder at my writing. Oh well for now I'm going online to see if the webcam in Ely has any deer.

8:32 pm -Little E is finally home from working at the snowmobile place. I am packed and we are ready to hit the road in the morning.

Poor Gr Puppy

2009-02-07T20:47:00.004-05:00

8:20 am - Poor Gr was sick last night. He threw up a couple of times before I could get his door open, Poor little guy. I've got to get somethings to the Post Office this morning, before they close. Than it's off to Bennington to do some running around.

8:49 pm - Big E came home tonight and informed me that we were leaving on our trip tomorrow instead of Monday. Easy for him he doesn't even pack his own bags. I've been running around all night getting things put together to leave. Gr isn't happy, cause he knows we're going somewhere, he just doesn't know he's going too. Wish there was some way I could make him understand that. I've been trying to get my computer running right again. I did a clean sweep and put in virus software, but I don't think any of it has helped.

Mammograms Only Come Once A Year

2009-02-06T20:46:00.004-05:00

8:05 am - I was up and rolling early this morning. Needed to be in Rutland at the hospital for a mammogram. Just on of those yearly test that we women get. One which in my opinion most women make a much bigger fuss about that in necessary. In case you're wondering, they aren't painful or in truth are they even uncomfortable. The worst part is being cold in the room in one of those hospital gowns, and not being able to put on deodorant until it's over.

8:51 pm - Little E went over to Albany with his cousins SP and BK to play laser tag. I found the movie To Kill a Mockingbird on TV, and so am enjoying watching it. I really loved the book, and I believe the movie did it justice. Its been a nice quite afternoon and evening around here.

Stuck In The Office

2009-02-05T20:11:00.003-05:00

8:48 am - It's a beautiful cold winter morning. I've got to head up to the office. Big E and I've got to do a bid this morning. It looks like we'll have enough work for another week. That's how the business is going this year, one week at a time.

2:00 pm - Have I ever said how much I hate doing office work with Big E. He never has everything together and ready to go. So I spend most the the day sitting looking at the wall. Oh and that headache is back.

8:15 pm - I made it home around four. It felt so good to be in the house. I got dinner made, the kitchen cleaned, and than kicked back. I am so sleepy tonight, and yet I don't feel like going to sleep.

Father's

2009-02-04T22:12:00.003-05:00

7:07 am - Getting up with a headache this morning. Sharp stabbing remitting pain on the right side of my head. Had me lying in bed wondering just what I did with my life. If I kicked off today, what can I say I've left behind. All I could come up with was raising the boys and helping Big E grow his business. That's not bad I guess. I have also thought about my wanting to be a writer. The fact is the only thing holding me back from being a writer is me. If I write, I am a writer. Focus.

8:15 am - Just realized that today was the day fifteen years ago that my Dad died. I really can't believe it's been that long. I can't believe how often I still think about him.

10:20 am - Big E's Father is sick again. And this time his Mother's got something to. He just called and said for me not to come in because he's got to take care of his Father while GP runs his Mother to the hospital. No way is Big E's Father going to be healthy enough for the knee on the 16th.

10:20 pm - I had to wait until nine to pick Little E from his first Crash class. Got home to Big E all upset again. They had to take his Father back to the hospital again. Not that, that's much of a surprise. I just wish this wasn't taking so much out of Big E.

Stress Is A Good Mover

2009-02-02T21:41:00.005-05:00

9:18 am - I just can't seem to get moving this morning. Think I'm over whelmed by how much I need to get done. I just want to go back to bed and call it a day.

11:19 am - Nothing like a little stress to get you moving. I have an appointment for a mammogram on Friday and just found out today that I have to see a doctor, first for a piece of paper. So I scrambled and got into NorthShire today. But really how dumb to have to pay for an appointment just for a piece of paper.

1:02 pm - Time for some lunch. I took Gr for a walk at the Manchester Rec, but had to cut it a little short. I gt a muscle cramp in my lower left back. It was a ruff walk back to the truck. After lunch I have to do a little banking that back to the office. It looks like I'm going to make it through the to-do-list.

9:49 pm - Big E got his father how from the hospital. I think his father gave him a hard time coming home. I know his Mother did. Our pellet stove is making a strange noise tonight. At least its not a ringing in my ears, that really makes me feel better. Oh and also my favorite TV show is coming back to TNT on March 8th; Saving Grace

Snow. Use It When You Can

2009-01-31T20:33:00.004-05:00

9:32 am - It's sunny and cold. Big E and Little E took Gr yesterday and headed for Lake Champlain. So I went out cross country skiing in Arlington. It's the first time I've been on skies in two years. I had fun and since nothing hurts on me, and we got few inches of fresh snow last night, I'm going again today. But right now I'd just like to go back to bed.

11:06 am - Oh boy, real big move, I put in my contacts. I just can't get moving today. I'm not even dressed yet. I'm waiting for Mother to come home, cause she wants to ski with me. If she isn't back by one I'm going t just go without her. I have to do something.

1:56 pm - So I got Mother and we went skiing for an hour. The fresh air, sunshine, and exercise made me feel more alive. Big E called to say they are coming home. He says it's to cold on the Lake for him.

8:40 pm - Everyone is asleep, but me. When Big E is home no one gets to use the couch. I've given up any thought that my marriage includes conversation. After 22 years the best I can say is, he's a good man, and we have a comfortable marriage. Trust me when I tell you that not such a bad thing.

Snow Clean Up

2009-01-29T21:33:00.003-05:00

11:46 am - Yesterday was a snow day. Little E and I hung out on the couch and did nothing. Today we are at the office cleaning up the snow. I shoveled, Little E is plowing with the skidster. Big Ed's father did fine yesterday and it looks like he'll finally be getting the new knee in February on the tenth.

9:36 pm - It was a quite afternoon. Little and I had lunch at Chili's and bought some food for tonight at Hannafords. Than we just kind of laid back. I went down to Mother's with Gr to visit with Aunt M. I'm having some trouble with my computer, it's time to get the thing cleaned up.

Sad When Historical Items Aren't Taken Care Of

2009-01-27T21:52:00.005-05:00

9:13 am - Big E called and said he needed me in the office to do a bid for a sidewalk. Thank God, because this is good work. After I'm headed to the Russell Collection and some research time on my Arlington, Sandgate, and Sunderland men.

4:17 pm - I left Gr at the shop with Big E while I went to the Russell Collection to work on my research. I found some great info about some of the Arlington men who were members of the local GAR. As a side note I can't begin to tell you how disappointed I am in the condition of the collection. They have priceless items and they aren't being taken care of. The place is disgraceful.

7:10 pm - Big E called from the Weathervane over in Lebannon. He took his parents over tonight, so his father can hopefully get closer to his knee replacement. He dropped them at the hotel [which we had to pay for], and is picking up dinner. He said his mother wrote down their order, because they don't think he can remember. I should have gone with him, but the truth is after five months of this knee replacement, I'm sick of the whole thing.

10:02 pm - Little E came home from bowling with S P and R P. So we are all tucked in here waiting for the snow storm that they say is coming tonight into tomorrow. Gr is acting funny tonight, like he is really tired out, or at least kind of spooked. I'm going to keep an eye on him.

The End of Peace

2009-01-25T22:18:00.006-05:00

9:00 am - Beautiful cold clear Sunday morning. To finish off a wonderful weekend I get to watch Sunday Morning on CBS with no one bothering me. They are talking about the rise of memories and I'm reading one right now, "Bayonet! Forward": My Civil War Reminiscences by Joshua L. Chamberlain. Just a reminder that this isn't a new kind of writing. After the shows over I'm going to run to Bennington and do some grocery shopping.

11:52 am - I just met the rarest of all beings in Bennington; a helpful clerk. I'm sorry to say I didn't get the kids name.

10:23 - Remember that damn hot tub. It attracts people. N P seem to going to crash here tonight, which is a good idea after the beer he's been drinking. Well so much for nice quite weekend, with the house being all mine.

Broken Bear

2009-01-24T21:05:00.007-05:00

10:06 am - I've got a nice empty house and I'm enjoying it. The feeling of being relaxed is somehow strange to me. I'm watching an old Jimmy Stewart western Broken Arrow on AMC. I've done my laundry and in a few minutes I'll get to work on some research. Best of all I'm not even going to get out of my PJ's.

11:45 am - I broke the only Christmas gift I got this year that I liked or could use. It was a little bear that my Mother gave me, which was to hold toilet paper. I knocked it off the wall and it broke into pieces on the floor. The whole house just shook, when some of the snow and ice just came slidding off the roof.

9:10 pm - I've all the preliminary research of by book done, now comes real leg work. I love this stuff, and can't wait to start spending my time among old books and papers. Big E called and said they had a great day on the ice and caught some really nice fish. It's good to know we've all had a nice weekend.

Dizzy but Happier

2009-01-23T21:59:00.006-05:00

8:00 am - I think I might actually get out of the house and do some shopping today. Gr is laying out front in the snow looking toward Mother's house. I know I shouldn't be this way but I'm excited that the guys are going ice fishing for the weekend and the house will be mine.

11:59 am - Wow! I couldn't believe the case of sensory over load I got when I walked into the stores today. Way to much to have to look at and try to take in. Kind of made me feel dizzy. I'm at Friday's for a little lunch. One more store than home. I'm buying something just for me; a new fry pan. Doesn't take a lot to make me happy.

4:35 pm - It's odd to be home without Gr. Big E took him with him ice fishing on Champlain for the weekend. I'm feeling much better today, more like myself. I think I've gotten through another bout of depression. This time was a bad one. Oh well not to dwell. It is 40+ today, but thankfully that wont last. Now that I'm feeling better I'm going to get out tomorrow and enjoy the snow.

6:49 pm - I feel strange tonight, dizzy and light headed. I have no idea what's wrong. I talked to Big E a few minutes ago. It's a wonder he didn't fall asleep talking to me.

10:08 pm I just finished watching the movie Smart People. It's a really good movie, I recommend it. I'm still feeling kind of dizzy, so I think its off to bed, and hope that feeling is gone in the morning.

Catch Up

2009-01-22T22:01:00.004-05:00

From January 20th

10:10 am - I had to clean out the pellet stove this morning, because it stopped working. Now I have my fingers crossed it will start back up. There is no place to hide today from the ridiculous circus that is the Obama inauguration. I personally feel we are making fools of ourselves. It is a lovely day with just a little snow and breaks of bright sunshine.

Today January 22nd

8:48 am - My computer is acting up this morning. I haven't written the last couple of days, because I've been battling a bout of depression. I think, I hope the dam broke yesterday. At least at this point I'm doing better.

10:07 pm - I got a lot of work done today, only three men left to do the preliminary research on. I still don't feel just right, but at least I'm moving today, and not having negative thoughts. Big and Little E are both going away ice fishing this weekend, so maybe a weekend to myself and I can get it back together. At least for a little while.

Research and Making It Through Winter

2009-01-19T21:40:00.004-05:00

11:05 am - I've been in the office trying to put things together. If I didn't feel depressed before, I've got reason to now. I can see no way for us to make is through winter.

9:41 pm - I spent a wonderful afternoon research the men of Co E. I love to spend time in the late 1800's. We had a good dinner of Venison and mashed potatoes. Little E got home early tonight and it's been a quite night. I've had plenty of time to write. I guess that's the silver lining to Big E's business going through a slow down, I have time to work on my projects. To top off the night and make the best of all evenings, Gr is being very loving.

Keep Moving

2009-01-18T21:55:00.004-05:00

7:11 am - I'm up dressed and ready to take Little E up to Sunderland so he can catch a ride to work. His not having a licence is a pain in the ass. The part of my day that is going really well, is that Big E has gone ice fishing today, so I might have some peace.

12:03 pm - I'm listening to a pod cast of Wednesday's NPR Political Junkie. I heard a blurb of a trivia question on this show just before I went to get lunch, back on Wednesday in Duluth. The question was "when did we come close to getting our first African American First Lady"? I have searched for the answer all over the web and haven't been able o find an answer, so I'm listening to the show waiting for an answer. And the answer is Teressa Hines Kerry. Boy what a let down down that answer is.

4:07 pm - I finally got off my butt and did something around here. I made a meet sauce for dinner, got some books ready to ship and combed a knot out of Gr's fur. I know that I'm dealing with a bout of depression. Course knowing it doesn't make being in the middle of it any easier.

10:07 - Just finished watching the first show of a new season of Big Love on HBO. I really like this show. I've got to grab a shower, because I wont have time in the morning before I take Little E to work again. I'm just moving forward.

Miserable Feeling All Day

2009-01-17T21:17:00.006-05:00

8:19 am - I just heard that Obama will be taking a train into Washington for the inauguration. He'll be taking the same route Abraham Lincoln took, except Lincoln snuck into town because of an assassination threat. I wonder if Lincoln could have ever thought that 148 years latter an African American man would become President in an America were he didn't have to sneak into Washington.

8:55 am - I feel like crying. I made it real clear to Big E that I wanted to enjoy a day of doing nothing, have no one bugging me. I'd do the laundry and make dinner, but that was it. Well I don't know who I was talking to, because it must not have been Big E. He showed up asking me to fix breakfast, to help him with his hot tub, oh would you get this, you don't mind if I use the quilt off your bed to pack around the hose, etc. The worse part is that if I point this out to him, that once again he is just pointing out to me how little I matter in this world, I'm the bitch.

3:51 pm - I've been miserable all day. I have no reason in life and if I found one Big E would only let me have it, if it worked for him. I hate what I have let my life become. Somewhere over the years I have traded me for...well I'm not sure what I traded me for, but I know I'm lost. How do I get me back.

6:42 pm - How sad is that the high point of my day will be slipping in between nice clean sheet on a freshly made bed tonight. Of course Gr gets to use it first.

9:28 pm - So Little E hasn't come home yet and hadn't bothered to call. I broke down and called his cell to see if he was coming home tonight, to find he is at the Bennington Bowling Lanes. I don't know how I did it, but with that one I raised an un-grateful child, who now that I think about it acts way to much like his father. To top off this wonderful day, I am getting a cold sore. Please tell me that tomorrow will be a nicer day.

Home and Two Days

2009-01-16T22:12:00.006-05:00

Yesterday January 15, 2009

5:21 am - I was out of bed and in the car to the airport in under fifteen minutes this morning. At the airport in Duluth and ready to fly home. [I'd still rather be going to Ely.] This is a funny airport, where there isn't much need to rush getting there. You don't go through security until just before boarding the plane. So there is never any reason to rush. It is cold enough here that they called off school. Not a snow day, but a cold day. It is cold enough that are discussing is it is to cold to de-ice the plane.

9:49 am - I had a really short wait in Detroit this morning. Now I'm sitting in first class for the flight into Albany. This has been a pleasant and, after the stress of driving last week, pleasant trip. I have to say this is the only way to travel [at least at this time of year]. Now all I have to worry about is getting out of Albany / Troy and if my truck will start will start after sitting a week at the airport. Wish I could say I'll be glad to be home. I will be glad to see Gr.

11:37 am - We were just told by the pilot that there is a plane with a problem on the runway in Albany. It has the airport temporally closed. If things down there don't change before we get there our plane will be diverted to Hartford. I've never had a plane get diverted before. This will be interesting. OK not Hartford, but Syracuse. Where we will be stuck for at least an hour to get re-fueled and wait for Albany to clear. I'm told we will not get off the plane.

Today January 16, 2009

9:39 am - I just couldn't get enough energy last night to make a post. I don't know why, but I was really dragging. Sunny and beautiful here this morning. Gr was glad to see me, but he was looking for Map. [I'm sorry Gr] I guess I have to get my act together and go to the office. Oh joy.

3:32 pm - Big E is trying to get his hot tub hooked up. I could care less, the thing just means work for me. S P stopped by to hang out with Little E.

10:28 pm - I'm watching Sex in the Civil War. Little E came down stairs to roll his eyes at me, and say Oh of course you'd find something about the Civil War. What can I say I love history. Big E finally gave up the couch and went to bed. I can't say that I amounted to much today.

Cold

2009-01-14T20:15:00.006-05:00

9:05 am - -38 out here this morning. I'm nervous about the rental car starting, so I can get to Duluth tonight. The guy came to read the water meeter a few minutes ago and Map went off. I think she learned some bad behavior while she was home with Gr. C just got up and I told him to maybe go start his truck and get it warmed up.

1:37 pm - It was a clear ride down to the city, just a small snow shower in Virginia. I am already missing C, Map, and Ely. It is always so hard to leave. Some day I'm not going to leave. Since I'm town and can't check into the hotel until after three , I'm grabbing lunch at the Olive Garden.

3:31 pm - I got rid of the worst rental car I've ever driven. The tires had no traction at all. The hotel came to get me at the airport, so now I'm in my room, comfortable and warm. I printed my flight ticket [I got an up-grade to first class on one leg] for the morning. So that's it I can just relax the rest of the day. Except I'd still like to be back with C. I really don't want to go home.

Cold and Movies and Last Days

2009-01-13T22:50:00.008-05:00

7:52 am - It is wickedly cold out this morning. It is double digit negative. I'm glad I don't have to go anywhere today.

10:56 am - I've been working on my blog posts all morning. C got up a little while ago and he seems to feel about the same as I do about going out in the cold. Course he has to go out tonight for a class at six. I'm going to run out him a thing to block the draft that is coming in around the bottom of the front door. Or maybe I'll just cuddle under another blanket.

4:59 pm - C and I caught and early dinner at the Grand Ely Lodge. He has class tonight at six. Since I'll be spending tomorrow night in Duluth before I fly home Thursday morning, this was my last time for spending time with him. When we got back I started the rental car. It turned over, but hard. Hopefully letting it run and warm up will be enough to get it started tomorrow too.

5:54 pm - I ran down to Pamida and picked up that thing to block drafts. I wound up picking up a couple of movies, "Appaloosa" and Swing Vote,for C and I to watch tonight. It has warmed up to a balmy -10.

10:02 pm - We have finished watching Appaloosa which wasn't bad but kind of slow. Now if C's DVD player doesn't screw up we might get through the second movie. And when C and Map finish their late dinner

A School For Parents

2009-01-12T22:06:00.004-05:00

2:24 pm - I took C to school this morning and got his tuition paid. It was fun to walk around the college and have all these people saying Hi to him, or the teacher's calling him by name and asking him to help out a new student. It's so great as a parent to know your child is well liked and respected. One of those few times when you know you did a good job as a parent. On the other hand Little E is a reminder that I didn't do such a good job as a parent. He lost his licence after being caught at a party for under aged drinking. I don't know...

6:29 pm - C has a class that gets over at seven tonight, so I decided to order pizza from Pizza Hut. They deliver out here, which I still find really cool. Plus I can order on line, which is even cooler. What can I say I'm easy to please.

Closed

2009-01-11T20:55:00.005-05:00

9:10 am - C and I are heading for Stony Ridge for breakfast [if they are open]. The best most amazing stuffed hash browns. Stuffed hash browns seem to be an upper Minnesota creation. What this is, is shredded potatoes, fried crispy on one side than flipped like a pancake than loaded with meat, veggies,and cheese. They fold the potatoes up like an omelet and top with eggs. It's incredible.

11:36 am - Bummer...Stony Ridge Cafe is closed until May. I am disappointed beyond words. I still got my stuffed hash browns. C and I went to the Grand Ely Lodge. Not nearly and good.

4:32 pm - I just took Map for a walk out around the block. We put her new boots and the coat my Mother map on her. She really looked adorable. I was surprised that the boots didn't seem to faze her at all, but she just kept trying to shake the coat off. Anyhow she sniffed her way around the block and than came in bouncing off the wall. The house smells great right now, I'm baking beer bread.

8:04 pm - The house has settled down at last. Map used by the last of her energy and is now crashed on the couch. C is visiting with friends on line. I cleaned up the kitchen from dinner [the whole loaf of bread is gone]. C friends MW and HC stopped to say hi on their way to campus. It has been a really pleasant Sunday.

Thank God I'm In Ely

2009-01-10T22:11:00.006-05:00

9:18 am - I spent the last two days on the road driving C and Map back to Minnesota. Not that it wasn't a fun trip, because I really enjoyed being with C, but winter driving really sucks. We rented a car in Albany [cause I'm flying home], and started west in what became an unpredictable mix of ice, snow, and good dry roads. Driving along, than the car would start sliding and I would think we're going to have to stop soon. Than I'd drive out of it and think better keep going as long as I can while the roads are good. Plus with Map along when we did stop for the night in Toledo, we had to find a place that took dogs. Anyhow with all this we just kept going yesterday, until the three of us finally made Ely last night at eleven. I don't care if I never get in the car again. I think that since C and Map are both still in bed I'm going to take a nap.

3:42 pm - C was up earlier than I thought, so we ran out to Trader Craig's and Pamida's to pick up a new vacuum and stuff to run the snow blower. Than we grabbed lunch at Subway, and bought some groceries at Northland. We came back and C and I cleaned up the snow so we could get the car in and unloaded. I've done laundry and cleaned the house. I'll make us dinner, but for the most part I'm ready to call it day.

9:22 pm - We've had a nice quite night. Ate dinner and watched a movie. I know I'm going to have hard time leaving Ely on Thursday. I really love it out here. I'm going to miss C and Map, and this town. So right now C is flipping channels and Map is sleeping beside me. As soon as I get enough energy, I'm heading for bed.

The Day Before The Drive

2009-01-07T20:40:00.004-05:00

2:33 pm - No one is doing much around here today. The weather is awful, cold rain that is freezing onto everything. I've got the truck cleaned out and am packed for the trip to take C and Map home. C still has a lot to put into the truck, but he hasn't even gotten dressed yet. Big E thinks he's getting sick, so I'm glad I wont be around for a week. [I am not the nursing type].

8:43 pm - Well we finally got the truck all packed. Of course was have repack everything at the airport tomorrow when we pick up the rental car. The dogs defiantly know something is going on. They are starting to cling to each other. Our rain has become heavy wet snow in the last couple of hours, and is coming pretty hard right now. I'm thinking that the drive tomorrow wont be a lot of fun. Well I will try to sleep tonight, for my butt will be in drivers seat for the next at least 24 hours. Somehow C's trip here at home with Map has been to short.

Getting a Couple of Things Off My Chest

2009-01-06T22:20:00.005-05:00

9:32 am - The dogs are driving me nuts this morning. They keep jumping up a running out the door barking at something, but I don't see anything. I don't think they do either. Gr and I are really ready for Map to go home. At least the guys should be having a good day ice fishing. It is beautiful and sunny.

12:06 pm - I've spent the morning in the the office. I hate being only able to pay off half the bills, playing the pick and choose game of which bill to pay; trying to make money stretch. Then the guys are bugging me, the couple who we still have working. They aren't doing what Big E asks them to, and are just costing us money. I'm going to tell them not to come in tomorrow.

12:59 pm - There's a new menu at Friendly's. It looks bigger, but I think it's just the same stuff with a new layout.

6:21 pm - I still haven't heard anything from Big E and the boys. I'm guessing they had a good day fishing. I don't know if they'll be home tonight or not though. Good thing I went for frozen pizza for dinner. You know all three of them have cell phones, but it's way to much for me expect a call. I've been looking at the painting Big E's sister did of him and his bear as a Christmas gift. We're going to be hanging it over the bar in the kitchen. The thing is ugly, but Big E loves it so I'm stuck with the thing.

10:30 pm - It's starting to snow [beginning of a big storm]. They guys made it home, C caught a fish. That's pretty much all the info I got out of them before Little E went to bed, Big E fell asleep on the couch, and C went into the shower. No body talks to me around here.

At Least The Dogs Have A Life

2009-01-05T21:46:00.004-05:00

9:23 am - I can't get myself going. I have no purpose today, nothing left to do that seems to matter. It's pretty sad when the dogs seem to a fuller life than I do.

3:02 pm - I came home to a living room full of boys. Little E was still home, C was back his cousin JP. If I understand what they're talking about, they are going up to ice fishing camp tonight. My best hope is that they will take Big E with them, along with the dogs. I could really use a night to myself.

9:55 pm - The boys did take off, but they left Big E and the pups behind. We went out to Chili's from dinner, and each of the dogs got their own little burger bit. I might as well have been home alone, since Big E walk in laid down on the couch and hasn't moved since. Well the dogs are entertaining.

Crazy Bored

2009-01-04T22:22:00.003-05:00

3:18 pm - All the Christmas stuff, but a couple of outside things, are packed away. Big E is yelling at the TV, as his Dolphin's continue to blow their play-off game. Little E went to work this morning up on the mountain, so he got out of having to go to his Grandparents for "Brunch". C is hanging out with his cousins. The dogs are playing and blocking Big E's view of the TV. Yupe it's a really big Sunday around here.

10:25 pm - As strange as this might sound, this blog is saving my sanity. After it's easier to be crazy in a crowd.

I Resolve

2009-01-02T22:12:00.003-05:00

9:50 am - I'm trying to get into gear for my day. I really don't feel much like facing the real world. Oh well, I'm sure no one cares what I want or am feeling. So, get my mind off bad thoughts and feelings let talk about New Year's resolutions. I don't normally play this game, but this year I think I need something, some kind of goal. So first I want to weigh 12 pounds less next year that today. I know 12 pounds doesn't sound like much, but it's better than being 12 pounds heavier. I also want to keep donating a dollar a day. Only I learned that trying to find a place every day is just plain stressful, so I will donate only once a month, but the amount will be equal to days in the month. So when December 31st comes around, I should have given away $365.

First Day

2009-01-01T21:55:00.004-05:00

1:18 pm - Happy New Year. I hope everyone had a good night and that 2009 will see more ups than 08. It is a bright cold day, a great start as long as your not hung over looking at the glare off the snow. I'm trying to get my house put back into shape and Christmas 08 just a memory. I'm not getting anything done very fast. Some sitting and petting the dogs seems more important.

3:15 pm - Mother had us down for a New Years Day dinner. We were without Little E, who was working on the mountain.

9:58 pm - I finally did get all my Christmas wrap for next year put away, along with my Noel's. That was what I was hoping to get done today, so I'm pretty happy. We had a quite night around here with the guys watching College Bowl games. Now its just me and Map and C, everyone else has gone to bed.

Some One Gets Breakfast In Bed

2008-12-31T22:26:00.005-05:00

8:57 am - We are getting snowed on pretty heavily. I wouldn't say that Gr is spoiled or anything, but he had breakfast in bed this morning. Since Map is here and she eats like most hounds, where as Gr like to eat slow [sometimes taking a bit and than going off, coming back an hour latter for another bit], we feed them separately. So today Gr got to eat in bed.

10:29 pm - I'm home dog setting again. The boys are having a party over at hunting camp. Big E has called it a night and gone to bed. I'm giving a shot at staying up until the New Year. Can anyone out there say, "God girl your old".

Some People

2008-12-30T21:57:00.007-05:00

8:23 am - I'm tired of hypocrites. Barbara Streisand happy to be in the presences of President Bush, at the Kennedy Center Awards, since she is being honored. Israel feeling perfectly justified in bombing the Palestinians. Funny what some people consider ethical behavior.

12:47 pm - I spent the morning in the office. CT from Finn & Stone came down so we could go through the business insurance. It looks like we'll be able to save quite a bit. Than I had phone calls to catch up on. The biggy to the Vermont Sales Tax people. I'd like to get that paid before the end of the year, but I can't do it online. So after being on hold, I finally talked to a real person who is going to fax me the form. Right now I'm taking care of some errands in Manchester. The town is packed. A reminder if why living anywhere else is a plus.

7:14 pm - It seems I still have an awful lot left on my to do list, here at the end of the day. We had a good dinner, even though Little E wasn't here, and I made his favorite meal. He was bowling with RP. When they got back RP hung around for awhile to visit. He's a nice kid.

They Wont Let Women Jump

2008-12-29T22:10:00.005-05:00

12:03 pm - I didn't get back to sleep this morning after Big E left. I laid on the couch about an hour, than gave up and got going for the day. I'm shopping in Saratoga. I went to Borders to pick up a book about traveling with your dog. Getting prepared for the trip home with C and Map. Anyhow the place was a zoo. I had to drive around the block twice before I was lucky enough to find a place to park.

5:13 pm - Puts me at the office moving money around. I got a bad call this afternoon from the accountant. It looks like we are going to owe a ton to the government. I consider this to be my fault as I didn't demand to pay quarterlies this year. Of course you'd think for how much we pay the accountant every year the would be able to figure things out. I've got the head home now. At least Big E loves me enough to have called and left a message to warn me that our parking area at home is very icy and I should be careful.

10:17 pm - C is not feeling good. This cold has really knocked him good. Little E went out for his Monday night with the cousins. Map is cuddled up with me on the couch. Hey did you know that they wont let women do the Ski Jump in the Winter Olympics. Did you know that women hold the longest distance in the Ski Jump. I guess women still have a long way to go baby.

Freakly Warm

2008-12-28T20:17:00.004-05:00

8:17 pm - It was way to warm to be the end of December in Vermont. At one pm it was 55 degrees. All that great snow is basically gone. I went shopping for groceries and that at least got me out of the house. No one else I live with can say the same. C is sick today, with some kind of cold, he looks like he had a hard night, and I know he didn't. Big and Little E are happy campers tonight, the Dolphin's won and now going to make the playoffs. They are really big fans. The dog are really wound for sound tonight. They are playing like crazy, and getting a little ruff. Anyhow that's the high lights of my day. Sorry it's so damn boring.

Rain and Ice

2008-12-27T20:27:00.005-05:00

10:07 am - It's raining, damp and yucky. I don't feel like doing anything. This would be a good day to stay in, cuddle up on the couch and read a good book. Even the dogs think this would be a good way to spend the day.

1:16 pm - Our driveway is one long ribbon of ice. I took C to the office to get his truck. We slid our way the driveway by staying over in the snow with on wheel. Coming back in was more entertaining, as my ass slid one way than the other. We're going to have to sand it, but I don't want to do that while this warm spell is going on. So we've got to get by until Monday.

8:32 pm - I was really not ready for Big and Little E to get home tonight. Although I didn't feel like it, I really did get quite a bit done. We had leftovers from Christmas dinner [pork hash], so I can now see the shelves in my fridge. Only thing I didn't get done that I wanted to today was getting the tree out of the house. C fell asleep on the couch watching "True Grit"
and I didn't have the heart to wake him, so that will wait until morning.

Catching Up on Three Days

2008-12-26T23:10:00.005-05:00

Dec 24 - 11:13 am - JP spent the night. Big E left early this morning, in the snow, to split stone for a small fireplace job he picked up yesterday. I'm cleaning the house half heartedly for tomorrow. There really isn't much left to do, but watch the dogs play and wait for Christmas Eve at Big E's parent's. This has been a very strange season.

Christmas Day Dec 25 - 8:09 am - We didn't get home from Big E's folk's house until after mignight. Luckly the rutin weather didn't get bad and stayed just rain. Although it has since turned cold so we now have ice everywhere. The boys brought up the tubs with the gifts and than headed off to bed. We got everything out and around the tree and headed off for bed. About four am I wolk to a crash. Our tree fell. It was Ok. Big E and I pulled it back up and wired the thing to the wall [which we should have done to begin with]. The only sad part for me is that I lost my Grandfather's, Grandmother's orniment. It was the only thing that broke. Anyhow now we wait for the boys to get up so we can open things and get going.

Today Dec 26 - 9:07 am - I was really wiped out last night. Gr and I went to bed at 7:30. Although he is clueless Big E is just sucking the engery out of me. I am reffusing to care about anything but what I want right now. So what I want right now is to do some post holiday shopping, and than get at least my kitchen back into shape.

11:22 pm - Gr and spent the day shopping. I got a few things for gifts for next year.

The Eve of Christmas Eve

2008-12-23T22:16:00.006-05:00

8:01 am - It is a cold clear morning. I had to turn up a couple of the heat zones in the house, because the pellet stove isn't keeping up. Gr escaped this morning from Map, and is taking a puppy break at Mother's.

9:25 am - I just broke a mirror. So do I start looking for those seven years bed luck, or just except that I no longer have a mirror over my mantel.

11:47 am - Someone knocked out the phone at the office this morning, ripped the wires off the pole. So I was a half hour on the cell phone to Fair Point getting them to come and make repairs. Now Gr and I are out delivering gifts around town. With all the errands and other thing that need to be finished up I've decided we'll just pizza for dinner tonight. Right now I'm breaking for lunch.

10:22 pm - Little is out again tonight. His friend J D from high school is back from the Air Force, so they are all meeting up to Friendly's. C and his cousin J P are hang out here at the house, playing video games. And I can't believe I'm saying this, but I'm already for Christmas. No stress this year, no last minute things. Cool. Now if Big E felt better and wasn't so worried about his father. Oh well that one of the things I can't fix.

Boring Monday

2008-12-22T22:01:00.005-05:00

4:30 pm - It was without a question a Monday. With C home I'm back doing two loads of laundry everyday. I meet Big E at the office to do bills and as usual, spent most of the morning waiting on him. We're still having trouble getting Map's collar to work. So far with all the snow, she hasn't wondered off to far. C and I took gifts to Hot Dog Bill's and to my Aunt H's, but we saved a lot of time as no one was home at either place. I got the kitchen picked up so I've got a fee minutes, than I'll start dinner and make some more candy. Can anyone say boring life.

10:07 PM - The boys went up to Mulligan's for Monday Night Football and to meet with all their cousins. So Big E and are Grand-dog sitting again. I guess in truth that I'm the one doing the sitting as Big E has been sleeping on the couch almost since the boys went out the door. The call I just got from the boys says that I will be puppy sitting alone all night. I can't wait until both boys go back to school.

Snow Day

2008-12-21T19:40:00.002-05:00

7:40 pm - It looks like our snow has finally come to a stop. Between Friday, yesterday and today, we've gotten around 18 to 20 inches, of the lovely fluffy white stuff. It's been such a nice day around here. We all went down to Mother's this morning for breakfast, and than everyone has just hung out around the house. C and I have shoveled a couple of times, and everyone has been watching football. I've gotten a ton of candy made for Christmas. It really is wonderful to have an adult snow day once in a while.

The Day After The Snow

2008-12-20T21:53:00.005-05:00

10:35 am - We had a sit down, whole family breakfast this morning. Other than the fact everyone else is done eating by the time I get my egg cooked, it was nice. The boys shoveled for me. We got about six inches and this means Matt plowed for the first time this year. It is finally feeling like Christmas to me.

11:43 am - I see where Vermont is planning on saving money this winter. The roads are awful, icy with packed down snow. No reason for either since parking lots have bare pavement. Just have to get used to it, as I suspect this is what winter driving will be like the rest of the year.

6:02 pm - There the tree is done. I gave in this year and for the first time in twenty-one years with Big E, I gave up my Angel Tree Topper and put a star up there. I didn't get much help with decorating this year, just a little from C. Anyhow the treasures are out for another year.

10:02 pm - The boys went to party up their cousin's house. I'm the only one still up in the house. Big E went to bed, and both dogs have conked out. M is on the couch with me, while Gr has taken his place on the bed. With all the lights off in the house, the tree looks beautiful.

Snow, Dog, Toy, and Boys

2008-12-19T20:23:00.004-05:00

8:11 am - We are waiting for the snow to begin. Big E is on the road trying to stay ahead of the storm. I'd like to say I can't wait for him to get here, but his mood is pissy and its got me keyed up already. I think this will be a ruff weekend while we all try to settle in and get used to each other all being home.

11:37 am - I have the smartest dog in the the world. Pulling up our driveway I say to him, "your toy is there by the drive, you ought to take in before it snows and it gets plowed up until Spring." Gr gets out of the truck and I swear to God, he went right over, got his toy and took it in the house.

12:43 pm - The snow has come.

8:28 pm - The dogs have finally settled down and are sleeping. Myself and both boys are on our computers. Big E is flipping through the TV channels. And the snow continues to fall. My family is home and for tonight at least...all is right with the world.

Oh Joy

2008-12-18T20:17:00.006-05:00

10:03 am - I'm in the office trying to figure things out with the accountant. We had a bad year, but it still sounds like the Government is going to take more than last year. I don't know, other than to say it's going to be a tuft winter. Big E called me from Chicago about an hour ago. He thinks he'll get in here at home tomorrow sometime. Barring any bad weather. I just hope he gets through Chicago all right.

12:01 pm - I dropped off the first of the Christmas gifts. R K wasn't home, so I left the gift on the door. Than I got in a little shopping at the Weston VT Country Store.

8:21 pm - Little E and I got the tree in pretty easily this afternoon. I really like this tree. Big E isn't even home yet, and he has made me feel like shit. Somehow it's my fault that he had trouble finding the hotel in Buffalo that he is staying in tonight, and it's my fault that the furnace for up to the shop hasn't come in yet. So he did the one thing I really hate; he hung up on me. So much for any kind of peace in my life.

Things Come In Three

2008-12-17T21:11:00.005-05:00

8:54 am - Can you say, everything that can go wrong. Out furnace isn't running this morning, so I had to call V to come down and see if he can get it going, than I'll try to find D and see if he will clean the furnace this year. Than I talked to Big E and he tells me his Father is bad again. I got hold of Big E's sister, who is over at his parents house. Found out that they are taking him to the hospital again for dehydration [the man needs more care that he's getting at home.] We're getting a winter mix of stormy weather, I've got to get hold of the guy who does out driveway and see if I need him to come as Little E says our drive is like an ice rink. This is just going to be a fun day.

9:16 pm -The furnace is running, but it stinks every time it kicks on. Thankfully R Baker is going to come down tomorrow and clean it for us. Big E's Father is in the hospital where at least he'll be getting some kind of care. The driveway is taken care of until the next snow comes on Friday. I got Big E and C a hotel in Madison WI that M could stay in with them. Heck I even bought a couple of Christmas gift and got them wrapped. I'm so glad that it's bed time.

One Home, Two To Go

2008-12-16T20:38:00.004-05:00

7:01 am - I didn't have a good night. I have a pain in my heel that was a steady ache. Bad enough to keep me up. I have no idea what is wrong. It actually felt better when I'd get up and walk on it.

9:35 am - I've brought my truck in for a service. She now has over hundred thousand on her. I love my F-150. They aren't doing such a good job at getting her in this morning. Normally Carmody is fast in the morning. Oh well, as long as I'm out of here in time to pick Little E up at the airport.

11:56 am - Think I just saw Little E's plane land. They made good time getting in. It's be good to get him home. Just hanging out in the observation area waiting for his call, than I'll pull around front of the airport and pick him up.

4:27 pm - I gave my dollar today to the Second Chance Animal Shelter at Paulin's. I really thought when I started this I would find lots of places to give my money, but it seems no one wants to take only a dollar. I've got to put some work into training Gr. He's slipped into some bad habits, like not coming when I call him. So my pockets are stuffed full of treats and I'm back working on his training [or my training depending on how you look at it]. My Dad always said you have to be smarter that the dog to teach it anything, I think I'm loosing.

8:50 pm - I am really wiped tonight. I'm going to bed right after "House" goes off.

To Warm For Winter

2008-12-15T21:41:00.007-05:00

9:27 am - I had a fight with the pellet stove again this morning, but it's going now. A dark morning and the wind is coming up. To warm for any snow. I'm sick of this weather, I want real winter.

3:29 pm - It's 61 degrees. So much for snow, but on the up side the ice has melted away. With the warm weather I took the opportunity to get the bunnies cage cleaned out. Now I have a few more gifts to wrap. I bought some more things for the dogs. Now I've got to move some money around for the business.

5:25 pm - Mother had me come down while some insurance guys came in. She is trying to decide what kind of Medicare to have. Since Mother is healthy, it looks like she will be going with Part C plan, with a small co-pay. The thing is Mother hates to make a decision, which is why she wants me to tell her what to do.

7:05 pm - Thought I would do a follow up on my Dollar a Day. To make up for yesterday; when I didn't donate, today I left two dollars at Whitman's in a can for the NorthShaft Lion's Club's fund to build a park in North Bennington. Hate to say this, but donating a dollar a day isn't as easy as you might think.

Christmas Trees, and Snowed In In Duluth

2008-12-14T21:35:00.006-05:00

1:13 pm - A really good morning. Took Mother and Gr, and we went and got our Christmas trees. We cut our own at the Mattison Tree Farm. I'm sure that the tree I picked out will not make Big E happy, but I like it. We stopped at the cemetery so I could put Christmas flags and Dad's grave and on Nanna and Grampa's. Gr friend was there as soon as we stopped the truck. Some day I'll have to find out the name of that hound. When we got home I helped Mother get her tree in a stand, mine went in the barn until the 18th. I got a call from the guys in MN. C got a deer this morning. He said it was nice spike horn. The bigger news is that Little E might not get out of Duluth in the morning. They are expecting fifteen inches of snow. Big E and C are taking him down to the airport tonight. I got him a room at the Country Inn & Suites for two nights, just in case he doesn't get out in the morning.

2:56 pm - I should be doing a ton of things, but Gr is sleeping all cuddled up with me on the couch. I just can't bring myself to move and disturb him. So here I sit, curled up under a blanket watching old TV shows.

5:55 pm - So I finished wrapping all the gifts that are leaving the house. Still have things for Big E and the boys to wrap. This looks to me like a tiny Christmas in gift department. I just can't seem to find that perfect thing. I just called Little E and he is in the hotel. He said that Big E and C left about ten minutes ago, so I should hear from them about eight.

9:48 pm - Little wont be making it out of Duluth tomorrow. I just got the call that his flight has been canceled, because of the weather. So I guess I'll pick him up on Tuesday, if they get out. Big E is back at C's house, watching M run around in the snow. He says they have about ten inches already. I wish I was in MN with them.

It's A Wonderful Life

2008-12-13T20:13:00.006-05:00

9:09 am - Wow I was lucky that I left Maine and came home when I did on Thursday. Watching the news this morning and saw the damage from ice, with trucks backed up on a street in Saco that I drove down to get to the highway. Once again I can say timing in life is everything. Here we have a cold sunny day, with a few big flakes of snow.

1:18 pm - It's cold. I took Gr with me to the office so we could start on catching up with the paper work. I put up a note to the guys that there wasn't going to be any more overtime. I'm not sure they understand that we are running out of work. I got a few gifts into the mail. Three more families to ship to than the rest of the things can be delivered in person. I had to break down and give my dollar to the Salvation Army today. I just didn't feel like being out any longer, just wanted to get home.

2:51 pm - Gr gets funny I bring bags up out of the basement with the gifts to wrap. So to keep him interested and not weired out, I put a couple of dog biscuits in a paper LL Bean bag and sat it on the floor. He played with the bag and got his treats. He seems happier.

8:22 pm - It is a clear, cold, beautiful night. I have spent most of the day wrapping gifts. I get to top the night off by watching what is without a question my favorite Christmas movie; There is something so very pure about this simple story about one average man's life. Do I hear bells ringing, could an Angel be getting his wings?

Full Moon and Glitter

2008-12-12T22:00:00.003-05:00

7:42 am - It didn't ice up that badly, but now we're fogged in. I know I'm really home. I'm doing laundry.

11:46 am - It finally changed to snow. Gr is happy, like a little kid, when the first flakes begin to fall. After running a circle around the house and rolling in the snow, he is now lying out front getting white.

7:35 pm - The clouds have gone away and the biggest brightest full moon has shown up. It is making the ice and snow we got last night and today glitter. I wish I could take a photo that would show the beauty out my window. We are among the luck here as it seems most of Vermont and upstate New York are out of power. This has reminded me to ask Big E to bring home the power converter from hunting camp. It would keep the pellet stove running if our power went out. Got to plan for these things.

10:06 pm - Been watching Christmas shows on TV and wrapping gifts.

Rain Freezing Rain, and Driving Home

2008-12-11T21:56:00.005-05:00

5:49 am - This is going to be a tuff drive home. It's raining and it's thirty degrees, so it's freezing. I just stopped for a soda and almost didn't make it across the parking lot do to the ice.

11:59 am - I made it home. Everything is in the house. I finally had something to eat, got into comfy PJ's and am just beginning to unwind. It was a touchy drive home. I've made two one dollar contributions [just in case I don't get out tomorrow], one dollar at the rest stop in White River Junction to support the free coffee for travelers, and one dollar for the Second Chance Animal Shelter. For now the fire is roaring, Gr is curled up with me on the couch, I've got things to do, but God it's good to be home.

3:15 pm - The rain just keeps coming and freezing onto everything. It didn't take Gr long to get tired of me. He's gone down to Mother's to hang out. I'm not moving to fast today, but I have started wrapping and I out out a few more Christmas decorations.

10:11 pm - Still storming. It's going to be a mess in the morning. I am going to bed with hopes of sleeping in, in the morning.

Shop, Shop, Shop

2008-12-10T21:40:00.007-05:00

8:06 am - I joined in with an Internet idea, give a dollar a day to a good cause. The web site lists charity's to donate to, but I'm going to try to do it local. The most obvious thing is to drop a dollar in the Red Kettle, but I'm going to try for some different idea's. Now I head out for my last day of shopping; in the rain.

2:16 pm - I dropped a dollar. Coming out of Marsden there was a table set up for Teen Challenge New England, the guy working it was so happy he hugged me. It's funny but I think that one act has made me feel friendlier and more helpful. I'm stopping shopping right now to get some lunch. Can't come to Maine and miss Bugaboo Creek. I love their nachos. I was disappointed to find my favorite Salvation Army is gone. Can't believe Biddeford is without. Well if I can just stay awake [feel like napping, think it's because I need to eat], I'll be heading soon to Boarders.

9:49 pm - I did it. I have checked everyone off my shopping list. Now what I buy will be for my Boys. I am so ready to go home, and curl up with Gr. I'm going to bop out of here early in the morning. Hoping to miss a storm that is predicted to be coming in tomorrow afternoon.

Mark Twain and Frogs

2008-12-09T22:43:00.005-05:00

5:40 am - I'm up and ready to go, but now I wait. I picked up a book last night at the hotel, by Mark Twain.
"The Celebrated Jumping frog and Other Stories". Can you believe I've never read anything by Mark Twain. It's a really tiny book so I should have it done by the end of the day.

10:46 pm - It snowed it rained. I give up on the weather helping my feel the Christmas spirit. I went to the new I ended up my day in the hotel doing laundry. No matter where I go, it seems that I don't get away from the washing machine.

Nerves

2008-12-08T20:08:00.003-05:00

4:27 am - I didn't sleep for shit last night. My nerves are shot. I mean we're talking heart racing nerves. Believe it or not these nerves are why I didn't write yesterday. Just to keyed up.

1:32 pm - I don't know when it happened but somewhere along the way today I relaxed. It felt good to just enjoy the ride. When I checked into the hotel today, they gave me an upgrade on my room. I'm going to do a little more shopping, than just kick back. Maybe even take a swim.

8:14 pm - I ate way to much at dinner tonight. Just couldn't get past the Thunder Down Under at Outback. I've had my shower, and am watching the Monday night comedy lineup. Nice quite, relaxing night. I am hoping that I've kicked the nerves.

Shop Til You Drop

2008-12-06T22:11:00.007-05:00

7:30 am - I've got a knot in my lower back, which I'm hoping will work itself out. I slept pretty good last night, but I feel tired this morning. Must be yesterday's early morning catching up with me.

9:25 am - Sitting in the truck waiting for the window to defrost enough so I can peak out and drive.

3:30 pm - I've shopped till I dropped. Sort of. I knocked a few more gifts off the list. For the most part this has been a enjoyable day to watch people. At Settler's Green I watched kids sledding on a man made hill. I couldn't help but wonder at the joy we get from the feeling of zipping down hill on snow. Any how I'm about to take a break and watch a movie. Than it will be back to shopping.

10:17 pm - I called Big E after the movie was over [Little E was right about there only being old people at Australia, I was the youngest person in the theater], and found that they had made it to Ely and C's house. I have wrapped up all the shopping I wanted to do here in North Conway, and am ready to move on to Freeport in the morning. I really didn't feel all the well today; I've had a headache all day. I am so very ready to call it a night and get some sleep. Maybe when I get up in the morning it will be snowing.

Getting Away From Home

2008-12-05T22:02:00.007-05:00

5:00 am - I'm up

6:05 am - I'm packed and ready to go, more or less [still got to throw a couple of plastic tubs in the truck], but it's way to early. Big E and Little E changed their plans last night and left for C's place this morning about 4:30. The only one who went back to bed was the dog. Gr's still in there. He's actually the only reason I hate to go this morning. Oh well reservations have been made, and gifts have to bought.

3:56 pm - I'm just waiting for Bellini's to open. I skipped lunch today as I didn't feel hungry, but boy am I ready to eat now. When I left the house this morning, I was still feeling that tight knot in my stomach. I was wondering how much I would enjoy my trip this year. I made a stop at Lake Camp to drop off a few things and since than I've felt like everything was alright. It was a smooth ride through Crawford Notch, where I stopped to watch a guy on Nordic skates being pulled across the ice on Saco Lake by a kite. I'm in and settled, let the shopping begin.

10:11 pm - I got a few gifts checked off the list, but the real shopping will start tomorrow. I took time out tonight to catch a movie. I almost never go to the movies at home, so that really makes this feel like a vacation. My dinner at Bellini's was wonderful, I had a great waiter; Jason, he was very friendly. Big called me to say that they made it to the Mackinaw bridge and crossed, before calling it a night. So I guess we're all in somewhere, and I can call it a night.

Chores and Jobs and Truth

2008-12-04T20:58:00.004-05:00

7:24 am - This is going to a screwy day. I've got myself packed for my Christmas shopping trip. As it seems is normal the day before you leave on a trip, things tend to pile up. The electrician Mother and I have been waiting on for months is coming this morning. I've got to be here because Mother wont be, she's going shopping with Aunt H. Oh well, as I well know everything will get done and by this time tomorrow I'll be on the road in search of gifts.

11:08 am - Yeah it's snowing. Great big fat flakes. I don't think it will last, it's to warm, but right now at least it's kind of pretty. Oh and I'm working my way through all those jobs so that I can out of here tomorrow. Big E gave me good news. We got a job over in Stratton, so there will be work through January. Than we'll have to see what comes up.

9:06 pm - I did it, finished up with the last thing, paying my home bills at just before seven thirty. Big E has me worried. The last couple of nights he has looked waisted. Mentally used up, instead of his usual physically spent. I know part of it is how bad things are going with he business, but I think the bigger problem is how sick his Dad is. I don't know how to be a good a wife in this matter. Should you sugar coat just how sick the Doctors and the family have let D become, or do you look him in the eye and tell him the truth. I know that I prefer the truth, but Big E, I don't which way to go.

Walking and Worry

2008-12-03T21:33:00.003-05:00

11:50 am - Mother got her new stuff and she's actually happy with everything. So to celebrate that and the fact that Gr was good while the guys where there, we went for a walk in the woods. The puddles up there are froze in some really neat circular patterns. It was a really nice walk.

9:36 pm - I had to run Big E up to Rutland to get his work truck. We had dinner out, and talked the big talk about just how bad business is. Looks like maybe another week and we'll have to let all the guys go. First time we haven't had work in fourteen years. Deep breath and assume that something will come up, and we'll get through.

Cell Phone From Hell

2008-12-02T22:12:00.003-05:00

9:48 am - I can not get myself going today. So far the big accomplishment is that I've taken a shower [still not dressed]. The sucky part is that I've got a lot to get done. Well maybe I'll fall back on the tried and true. I'll make a list and start checking things off.

12:26 pm - What a frigging waist of time. If I may trash a company for a moment, do not get your cell phone service from Hand Chevrolet in Manchester. I always know that I'm going to have to wait for service, but after waiting a half hour, I was talked down to by a Mr Warren like I was a three year old. Big E sent me in to get a new battery for his phone, and after sitting through what I'm sure this guy thought was an education, I was told they didn't have any batteries. I have no complaints with US Cellular, but their dealer in Manchester sucks. If I could get out of the contract I would switch in a heart beat.

2:18 pm - Well I just found out about on the material sales made in the last two weeks while WK wasn't at the shop, that no one told me to bill for. Wonder how many other things went out of here with no payment.

10:22 pm - Well the list thing worked pretty well for me, I got everything check off but one item. I even had it together enough to bake a loaf of Banana Bread. Now if I can just keep myself from eating any of it tonight. With any luck Big E and Little E will save me a piece for my breakfast in the morning.

To Warm For Christmas

2008-12-01T21:42:00.005-05:00

7:46 am - Winter just refuses to come. It warmed during the night and so the storm came with only rain and wind. Gr hogged the bed last night and I had some strange dreams.

12:42 pm - In the office a couple of hours and now I feel depressed again. This is looking like a tuff winter. It is 53 degrees, and you wouldn't believe the mud. Makes it kind of hard to feel Christmasy.

2:19 pm - I left a book in the Friendly's parking lot as a BookCrossing book. Listened to two couples fight during lunch, passionately about two strange topics. One was fighting over whether Science Fiction was worth while to read, and one couple was fighting about if stores in town should closed on Mondays. I ran into AP at the Nurses, she said her new Gr-baby is getting really big. Now it's back to the office. Oh joy.

7:00 pm - The Christmas cards are gone. Some of the things I've ordered on line have started to arrive. It's been sort of nice having Little E and Big E home for dinner, the last few nights. I like to cook for them and than we all sit down together and do the family thing. I can't wait for C to come home.

9:51 pm - I watched "Shrek the Halls" tonight. I just can't get enough of Christmas themed cartoon TV shows. It just make me feel like a little kid again.

Shop Till You Drop with Mother

2008-11-30T20:33:00.004-05:00

6:48 am - I felt really strange last night. I was light headed and I seemed to be having trouble coming up with the right words. I guess I tired. Up early this morning to take Mother to Saratoga. She's after a new TV. I'm hoping to beat the crowds.

2:58 pm - Well we got back just before the snow started. This may finally be the snow storm we've been waiting for. Mother did find a TV after three stores, and she got quite a few gifts. I'm just tired out, I'd love to crawl into bed and call it a night.

8:38 pm - The snow has turned to freezing rain, and the wind has come up. I'm just hoping that the Christmas decoration stay put. I'm glad that everyone is home, because I don't think this would a good night to be on the road. We had tacos for diner tonight mad with meat from Big E's bear. Not bad really.

Christmas Cards

2008-11-29T21:52:00.006-05:00

8:32 am - It's snowing lightly. I love this time of year.

3:05 pm - There the Christmas decorating is done [well outside is done anyway], the little bear got his wreath. I had to get clear lights for his wreath, so I picked up groceries while I was in Bennington. D M's boyfriend was playing Santa at Wal-mart [I have to ask D M if she gets hazard pay for working at Wal-mart]. Little E is home from camp, so I made dinner out of leftovers. Now the rest of the day will be about finishing the Christmas cards.

5:15 pm - There Christmas cards are done, ready to drop in the mail on Monday morning. One more thing off my to do list.

9:58 pm - We're watching Moonlight and Mistletoe on the Hallmark Chanel. It really a hokey bad movie. But they filmed it last year in Chester, so we're playing I know where that building is game.

Deck The Halls, Or Should I Say The Lawn

2008-11-28T20:40:00.006-05:00

8:15 am - Hope everyone had a nice Thanksgiving yesterday. Ours was very quite, just four of us at Mother's. I slept in this morning. Gr had a bad night, asking to go out over and over. I still don't know if he didn't feel good, or he smelled something outside. So I didn't get a lot of sleep.

9:00 am - I know now that Gr was sick last night. I found a little mess in the basement. Poor little guy.

3:42 pm - Took me four hours to do the outside Christmas decorating. I'm still not quite done. I need to pick up a small string of lights for a wreath. It was a beautiful day for decorating. I even got a short snow shower.

5:18 pm - We went up to Arlington to go for a walk, and I could not believe the traffic. The roads are busier than on a normal work day. Although I'm sure the news people will say otherwise, I'd say there are a lot of shoppers out doing the Black Friday thing. I'm going to have to get rid of my favorite pair of Carhartt Overalls. I've worn them seven years and it shows. But it's going to be really hard to part with them. Maybe I can turn them into something new.

8:50 pm - I'm watching "The Polar Express". I've never seen it before, nor have I ever read the book. It is a really sweet story. Between this movie, and looking out my window at the Christmas lights I strong earlier today, I do believe I am getting into the Sprite of the Holiday.

Working With the Boss..Oh God

2008-11-26T21:35:00.004-05:00

8:37 am - I used to have treasures. Little things I would find or pick up. Things that when I saw them they would make me smile or feel happy. I just realized I don't have any treasures any more. Somewhere along the way my life has become sadder and smaller.

12:25 pm - Spent the whole morning in the office with Big E. Took three hours to do what I could have finished up in about one, if I wasn't waiting on him. Big E tells me when to come in to do bills so he'll be there, than spends half his time on the phone or running out to ask the guys something. I spend the time trying to stay busy with other work, but not knowing when he is going to be ready to start up another bill.

3:15 pm - All I here is how bad the economy is, and how no one is going to out shopping for Christmas this year. Yeah well they weren't in Rutland this afternoon. Two day before Black Friday, and the shopping center had police in the parking lot directing traffic. I saw way more carts full up being pushed to the register.

9:46 pm - Enjoying another night of peace and quite. Little E is out. Talked to C, to see if he'd made it to H C's house yet for Thanksgiving [and to see if M made it there without throwing up to much]. Big E and had a good talk about the business tonight, and although things still aren't looking to good, I feel better about how it is going.

Chocolate Dreams

2008-11-25T21:59:00.007-05:00

7:22 am - The storm that the weather men said would make this morning a mess, didn't come. Little E went out last night, so as a nice change Big E and I had the house to ourselves. I love my boys, but I'm really ready for them to move out.

12:13 pm - I've just come from the dentist. I was dreading this cleaning, since due to scheduling, I haven't been in since last May. My jaw is sore from holding my mouth open, but other wise I'm good. Thanks to good genes from Dad. This cold dreary rainy day sucks. Snow would be so much better.

3:35 pm - It's almost snow. I wish we were doing better right now, I know just the business I would buy. Way back in 1976 the first job I ever had was cleaning house at the Chocolate Barn. Well the place is for sale. Now first I make chocolate so that part of the business I would keep [adding my own designs]. I would turn the beautiful 1840's house into a B&B. Back in the barn I would still sell VT products and antiques, but I would add a bakery, coffee shop feel to the place [I would get my friend DM and Mother to do the baking] with tables and sofas. I'd open early in the morning, at like 5am. I really believe that in a couple of years I could be making a nice living. Oh well at least it doesn't cost anything to dream.

8:00 pm - The power just came back on. I don't know why it was out, the weather is fine.

10:09 pm - I don't know what's got Big E all worked up tonight, but after dinner he got a mood going. His lousy mood effects everybody in the house right down to the dog. Lets just say that's a relief that he went to bed. I love the man, but he's a pain in the ass to live with sometimes.

What Do I Do All Day

2008-11-24T21:23:00.004-05:00

12:07 pm - In the office all morning. I feel like such a waist working here. Off to Manchester to make a deposit.

2:29 pm - I had lunch at Mulligan's, couldn't get by today without their nachos. Than before I did all the other running around [bank, post office, Rite-Aid], I took Gr for a walk at the Rec Park. It was good one with Gr making a friend and behaving beyond my expectations. It was perhaps the only thing in my life I have control over right now. I can go for a walk every day, I can maybe get that part of my life back.

4:43 pm - No one knows just what I do all day long. I'm one of those people in the back ground, juggling all the balls so that everyone else can relax and enjoy the show. I return the phone calls, do the paper work, remind Big E to take care of his promises to clients, do the banking, sell our product, handle the employees, keep everything at the house running from laundry to dinner [although the damn pellet stove isn't working again], today I even had to clean the office toilet, playing plumber when it got stopped up. And yet it doesn't feel to me most days like I have a real job, and don't think many people see me as having a job or even working. I guess that means I'm really good at what I do.

Guys Are Home

2008-11-23T20:08:00.005-05:00

7:44 am - I didn't sleep all that great last night. Gr has become a bed hog. When we first got him he didn't sleep in bed, but sometime during the months I was traveling to MN, Big E must have talked him into it. Now I have a dog who thinks he should have the bed.

10:26 am - I was just watching Sunday Morning on CBS. They did a peace on a restaurant called the Heart Attack Grill. This place is a must do before you die [course eating here could cause that to happen faster]. It definitely looks like C's kind of place.

2:06 pm - There the shopping is done for the week. The kitchens clean and everything is put away. The guy are watching the Dolphin's game. Now I start working on dinner.

Snow, Football, an Cat Dancing

2008-11-22T21:15:00.004-05:00

7:28 am - Sometime last night after dark it snowed. We got up to this morning to a dusting on the ground.

4:14 pm - Well I went with Mother to Manchester where I helped her buy the new appliances at Brook Valley. Than I left Gr with her and went to Pittsfield to pick up some Christmas decorating things. Now it's just really good to be home curled up on the couch. Peace and quite. I'm going to do some work on Photo Shop, write a little, and relax, on my last night of being home alone.

7:07 pm - I just realized today is when C should have been playing in a bowl game. Had the Ironmen scored in those last two minutes two weeks ago in St Cloud, today they would have been playing one more football game. Oh well as sad as it still makes me feel, would a, should a, could a, but didn't.

8:05 pm - I just found a really good movie on the Western channel
. I think is is some of Burt Reynolds finest work in his early years.

I Love the Damn Pellet Stove

2008-11-21T21:04:00.004-05:00

9:36 am - The damn pellet stove isn't working again this morning. I love the stove when it's running, because it's so much cleaner and easier than a wood stove, but when it stops running there isn't much you can do. Turn it off, wait, turn it on and hope. Than if it doesn't work call the guy and pay. The stove is supposed to save money, but I've forked out $150 in service calls already this year.

12:32 pm - I did the good daughter thing and took Mother to Home Depot to look at a stove and refrigerator she is thinking about buying. We picked out a stove, but than she decided she didn't like any of their fridges. So I guess I'll be making another trip. Than she wanted to go to the Christmas Tree farm to pick up bows to make wreathes, but they weren't open. I got the lawn picked up, and the bunnies moved back to their winter home. So the rest of the day will be spent doing paper work.

6:01 pm - I just finished listing some items for sale on EBay and Photosmart A826 Home Photo Center
Amazon. I figure I can clean something up, get them out of the house, and make a little money while I'm at it.

Big Bad Black Bear

2008-11-20T20:19:00.005-05:00

7:23 am - I didn't write yesterday because I spent the day with Mother. We got up at 5:45 and Gr and I picked up Mother and drove up to the P & H Truck Stop for breakfast [they have the best cinnamon raisin toast in the world]. Than we went back to our Lake Camp so I could see what kind of mess they left me when it was closed up [I'm going to have a lot of work this Spring]. After that I took Mother shopping. We didn't get home until seven. I just wanted to go to bed. It was a tiring day.

12:05 pm - I feel like I'm spinning my wheels and going no where today. All I've done in the office this morning is make phone calls and try to set up advertising. I'm working but it sure doesn't look like I'm getting anything done and it doesn't feel like it either. Good new for me; my lost book weight has been found. I guess I must have left it at Friendly's last time I ate there. OK so lunch, a walk, and back to work.

2:26 pm - I ran into B L. I shouldn't say anything like this, but God she's really looking old. OK back to work.

3:52 pm - Big E and Little E just showed up at the office. Big E shot a black bear today up in Minerva,NY. They brought it back to the shop to hang and to get me to take picture of it. I asked Big E why he killed it and he said the bear was coming at him growling. I suppose that means we'll have another mount hanging in the living room [perhaps I should have one the mice I've killed recently stuffed, and mounted on the wall]. It's nice looking animal and is about 200 lb.

8:34 pm - So everyone is home tonight. What a joy, Gr and I had to give up our couch, because Big E can't share. I always have a hard time getting used to having to share the house [and my life], when the guys come home from camp. I know I'm not supposed to feel this way, but hay I like to be alone. However that being said I like having the guys around to.

Making Plans, Good For Your Mental Health

2008-11-18T21:29:00.005-05:00

7:48 am - I forgot to close the dog door when I went to bed last night, so Gr woke me up at one-thirty, when he went out the look things over in the bright moon light. I got him back in, closed his door and went back to bed. Than Little E had me up at four when he left to go back to camp. I went back to sleep. Than Big E came home at six-twenty to shower before his meeting. I gave up at the point and just got up for the day. Hey at least it's going to be a bright sunny cold day.

11:51 am - I feel much better now that I'm making plans for a Christmas shopping trip. It's something [maybe the only thing] I have control over. Something to look forward to. Now if I can just make myself stop worrying about money and the business, I might enjoy myself and start to feel like the Spirit of Christmas is with me.

7:20 pm - There my trip for Christmas shopping is set and planned. Now I feel like I can move on with things. I needed to have something to look forward to, a plan. It took me almost three hours to book a flight and four hotels to cover this seven day trip. Let the shopping begin.

9:40 - Little E came home again tonight. He says that he hit a deer on his way to camp this morning with the Toyota. I hate to admit it but I've gotten used to having him around in the evenings.

Wo Its Snow

2008-11-17T21:40:00.005-05:00

12:24 pm - It's snowing!! I meet Cy at the office and got her to clean up a few book keeping things that I wasn't sure how to post taxes. I'm grabbing lunch at Friendly's before I head out to run errands, than back to the office for a couple more hours. Not to say that I have a sad little life, but the high light of this day will be that Friendly's has brought back their Peppermint Stick ice cream for the Christmas season.

3:41 pm - I finished up the running around. Than I took Gr for a walk at the Manchester Rec Park. He is like a little kid going to a candy shop, when he knows there is about to be a walk. Big E called me to check in from hunting camp. They've gotten five deer so far, not bad for the first weekend.

9:46 pm - Little E was home doing a paper when I got home tonight. He's going back into camp in the morning. I think I've finally figured out what has been causing the slump in my mood over the last few weeks. I've lost the routine of my life. I think what I need to, do even if I hate the thought of leaving Gr again for a few days this soon; I really need to plan for a Christmas shopping trip. Every year for the last six years I go to Maine for a week and wrap up my shopping, I need to do this, this year. I need my routine, my habits that put an order into my life. I need to feel like I have some kind of control over my life. Right now I just seem to be drifting.

Sunday Soup

2008-11-16T21:04:00.004-05:00

8:07 am - I am never going to get caught up with the laundry. I do two loads a day, every day and still the pile seems to get bigger.

10:39 am - I took myself out for brunch in Rutland at the South Station Restaurant. I have never in all my travels found a brunch that equals. They have a dessert bar with so many choices that it would be very easy to make yourself sick trying just on each. So now I'll go do a little bit of shopping and start back toward home. My big day out.

2:33 pm - I'm dealing with a dilly of a headache. I felt it coming on this morning. I thought I could make it go away with a big meal. Than maybe I thought I could shop around it, but the truth is I could hardly drive home. I've got the daily chores finished up, and I'd like to give my wash room a good cleaning, but just writing this is killing my head, even my eyes hurt.

6:29 pm - I made myself the best comfort food I know of. Campbell's Tomato Soup made with milk and lots of black pepper. Than I added in Oyster Crackers a few at a time so that each bite is crunchy. It's a dinner that takes me back to my childhood and Sunday nights, getting to eat in the living room while watching The Wonderful World of Disney. I would have been sitting between my Dad's feet and using a wooden step stool painted black ad table. Our yellow tabby cat "Sally" would have been trying to sneak some of the soup.

9:17 pm - My headache has finally gone away.

Sleeping On Opening Morning

2008-11-15T21:41:00.006-05:00

8:00 am - Wow! I really slept in. It's opening morning of hunting season. I should be in the woods, but I think I've given up.

10:54 am - I don't know why I go near my Mother. You'd think after 40+ years, I'd get that she makes me feel like crap. I pretty much just got told by own Mother that I'm a lazy failure, and a rotten Mother. I really wish I wasn't an only child. Than I wouldn't feel guilty for not going near her. Oh but the failure that I am knows I can't do that, because if I'm not there who will be there for her. Just like I could never sell our house, or move, because I'd have to think about she would feel first. On the plus side, C just called me to tell me one of his buddies just got a nice eight pointer.

1:51 pm - I've been in the office all afternoon, getting payroll done, and all the paper work caught up. At least it was quite today, just me and Gr.

4:12 pm - The bathroom is clean, and now for some me time with a good book and popcorn for dinner.

7:18 pm - We're getting some big wind gust. I can't believe that I'm already giving some thought to going to bed. I can't though, cause I want to catch Rusty Dewees "The Logger", on late night tonight. If C were tonight he'd watch it with me. Maybe I'll even get enough energy to amount to something tonight.

8:22 pm - We've got a pretty good rain storm rolling through. I hope the guys are alright at hunting camp. The News is saying they are getting a severe thunder storm right now. Maybe I'll take a ride over tomorrow and give Big E his messages and check in on them.

The Mouse Who Made Trash Go Away

2008-11-14T21:35:00.008-05:00

6:58 am - I knew Big E would be calling first thing this morning and getting me up. That's why I took the phone to bed with me last night. I don't know why, but I kept having dreams about Little E's last girlfriend. He didn't even go with her very long, and I only met her twice. Guess she made an impression.

9:05 am - My Mother is going to make me nuts. Being around her is like walking on glass. We have a small Dumpster at the end of the drive, which is empty about once a month, and Mother uses it with us. Well now we have to get rid of it [to keep the peace], because she has decided that, that is why she saw a mouse go under her car. If I don't get rid of it, she'll be snipping at me until I can't even sleep. Never live in a house where you can see your parents home from you window. In some way it will be a kind of hell.

12:22 pm - I dropped Gr off for his grooming and PetSmart. Than I dropped over $300 at BJ's to get the boys through one week at camp. Lunched at Ruby Tuesdays because I wanted to try their crab cake mini. I wont need to do that again.

1:57 pm - I found a couple more items for Christmas. At the Wal-Mart in the clearance aile. Three down and ton to go. It felt good to buy something, because I just can't my head into the Christmas spirit.

7:30 pm - I have a little friend living with me. A little mouse made a trip through the living room. On it's next pass I guess I should try to catch him. But for now, since its warm and the pellet stove is out, I guess this is a good time to clean it.

Pies In Gray Skies

2008-11-13T20:14:00.006-05:00

7:29 am - Gr is being cuddly with me. He went out than came back and got on the couch with me, instead of going down to Mother's. She is sort of locked in house right now. Her door handle is froze up. I'll probably wind up having to change it for her. I just got my third call on the house in Manchester. Man, I wish someone would buy that thing.

10:42 am - The critters are jumpy in the woods today. We saw six white tails legging bail up the mountain beyond V's meadow. There was a fresh pawing about ten feet up in the woods from our yard.

2:13 pm - It's a damp rainy cold afternoon, and I'm happy to be home and just put on my PJ's and spend the rest of the day cleaning house. I'm starting buy putting away my summer clothes and getting out the winter things. The only thing that would make this day better would be if the rain turned to snow.

6:23 pm - I've been cooking for hunting camp. Two pies and big pot of chili. I was going to make peanut brittle and another pie, but they'll just have to wait until next week.

8:27 pm - Big E called to find out when his flight home is tomorrow. His trip to IL has ended with out a deer. Gr is hanging close to me. I'm watching House on USA. Little E is at hunting camp with his friend Jammie, getting an early jump on the opening weekend.